The 2012 Fall New TV Season: Hits, Mostly Misses

Boy, oh boy, I remember the launch of last fall's new TV season, which appeared chock full of potential. New Girl, Revenge and 2 Broke Girls were all quick favorites, bursting with charm. By mid-season, however, I was already bored with the cartoon-like evolution of both "Girl" shows.

And as much as I dug Revenge, I lost patience with its sloooow ever-so-deliberate movement... even though movement I could never get enough of dreamboat Joshua Bowman (though I'm still Tivo'ing it, in case a winter blizzard gives me cause for an all-day marathon).

In the end, it was more or less back to HGTV & HBO, for meese and another TV season of same ole.

This season, there's precious little that I can muster so much as a "Yee-haw" for. I've watched both episodes of ABC's creepy crawly 666 Park Avenue, which is deliciously sinister, with Terry O'Quinn and Vanessa Williams in the leads, alongside yummy hotties Dave Annable and Robert Buckley. Set at The Drake Hotel in NYC, it's the kind of joint where all dreams can come true—at a price. Come on in, although you can never leave... as young Jane and Henry are about the find out..

Or not... Ratings plummeted in the second week of 666, down 2 million viewers. Here we go again: It's always risky to invest in a new show that is axed after three weeks. Meanwhile, its competing shows, the dreadful The Good Wife and The Mentalist walloped Park Avenue. Oops.

My second contender for Most Watchable show of the 2012 season is Arrow, a fast-paced action adventure series on the CW based on DC comics character The Green Arrow. (See separate post here.) Two words: Stephem Amel.

Meanwhile... Nashville has gotten the best reviews of the new season, and looks to be good and bitchy, as the country music business rears its nastier side. And for once, the south isn't protesting about a show personifying its roots (See fatality Good Christian Bitches). This could be the season's breakout hit.

The New Normal had a hysterical pilot... but I remain convinced the conservative South will aim to kill it before it flourishes... Ratings are bobbing up and down. Last week" it garnered a respectable 5 million viewers. I've got Tivo set, but it's just a little too... progressive for the Mitt Romney crowd. I have little faith that it will last the year.

NBC's Chicago Fire looks like my kind of fun: fire, explosions! All the things that boys like. It competes with Avenger, so I'll catch the pilot when it re-airs this weekend... although reviews were hateful, bringing in a somewhat tepid 6.4 million viewers for the pilot Wednesday. Another early 2012 season casualty? I better catch it while I can.

No go: Elementary. The concept looks neato, while lead actor Jonny Lee Miller is certainly a stud as a modern-day Sherlock Holmes. But anything parading Lucy Liu in it nauseates me faster than ice melts. I've never seen an iota of compassion in her "acting." She's just too damn macho for my tastes. Sorry, nope.

Maybe one day: The Mindy Project smells like a hit and looks pretty adorable. Perhaps after my fill of HGTV's Property Virgins and House Hunters, along with CNN's nightly Anderson Cooper's 360 and Piers Morgan, I'll make some time for it.

And finally... never ever: Guys With Kids. Men playing hapless, bumbling pussies... Are we ever going to move past this stereotype? Pass, thanks. *

'Revenge' (And Dreamy Joshua Bowman): New ABC-TV Promo Pics

Yes, Virginia, there is a god... and his name is Joshua Bowman. *

'Revenge' Fame Lands Joshua Bowman In February 2012 'GQ'

As the success of ABC's sinister and delicious nighttime soap Revenge burgeons, so does the fame of break-out co-star Joshu Bowman, whose handsome face, lean physique and innate elegance are making him a favorite of the print media, and in particular, fashion and fitness mags. Good thinking!

In addition to his Entertainment Weekly cover this week with star Emily VanCamp, the beautiful Brit appears on the cover of sophisticated periodical Bello, along with a fashion spread in the February GQ. Why in the world it opted to put Michelle Williams on the cover (Golden Globe, oh whatever!), I'll never know. It sure is nice to see Josh smiling, too! *

(Photos courtesy of JoshBowmanFan.com)

Double Whammy: ABC's Hit 'Revenge' & Josh Bowman Cover 'EW'

It was one week ago that The Smoking Nun went gaga for Joshua Bowman with a full pictorial on the sexy break-out star of ABC's delicious nighttime soap Revenge, our (one and only) favorite new series of the 2011 season.

And now, apparently recognizing the Nun's worldwide influence (right?), Entertainment Weekly features captivating lead Emily VanCamp with sexy co-star Bowman on the cover of the January 27, 2012 issue.

Inside, there's more to devour, with a pic of trio VanCamp, Bowman and equally delectable co-star Nick Wechsler. All together now: Ooh la la! The issue hits newsstands Monday, January 23. *

Model Perfect: 'Revenge' Co-Star Joshua Bowman

As my 2011 TV season fave—ABC's freshman Wednesday night hit—Revenge continues to flourish in the ratings, we're getting to see more and more of dreamy cast member Joshua Bowman.

This week the wickedly delish primetime soap, starring Emily VanCamp and Madeleine Stowe, almost trumped CBS' ongoing smash CSI (with an 8.0 share to the latter's 8.1), while it sucked the air out of NBC's Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (3.7 share).

The British Bowman, 23, in his breakthrough role, is one pretty fellow, for sure, with a checklist of Smoking Nun faves: warm brown eyes, a great smile (when he actually shows his beautiful teeth), thick dark hair and in this case, a young lithe upper torso.  Let's take a closer look, shall we? *

The Top 10... Uh, 1, New Television Show Of 2011

For the first time ever, I was actually jazzed by last fall’s new TV season. It appeared that the major networks had finally learned that a tepid wasteland of programming directed toward middle America was regularly losing out to edgier shows on pay channels.

Boy, was I off the mark.

After giving many of the new shows a college try, three months later—with one exception—my Tivo is back to recording little more than HGTV. Highly hyped shows like Pan Am turned out to be little more than stylized period costumes, sans any characters that I give a shit about (as opposed to Playboy Club, which I found packed with scintillating action and multiple sub-plots; after it was skewered as sexist, the show was hastily retired after three episodes). Seems I'm hardly alone: Pan Am is now hanging by a thread in the ratings.

The few I devoted a Tivo Season Pass to…
2 Broke Girls: funny as hell for about four episodes, before sinking into a typical one-dimensional sitcom. The two main characters are nicely fleshed out; the supplemental roles are all painful to bear. After a month, I was watching with one eye closed. (renewed)
 
New Girl: Once Zooey Deschanel had been deemed “quirky” for the 100,000th time, it appears the show’s writers forgot she's also smart. The season’s most critically heralded show imploded into a cliché of itself. I so wanted to love it. (renewed)

A Gifted Man with Patrick Wilson seemed promising… until his character evolved from a no-nonsense arrogant asswipe surgeon into a social welfare do-gooder. Zzzz… And what a waste of the brilliant Margo Martindale. (hanging by a thread)

Suburgatory had promise as a hip NYC urban girl is supplanted to the "zany" suburbs. However, it’s just not funny. At all. I'm embarrassed that the spoiled eye-rolling lead is supposed to be a New Yorker. (renewed)

Terra Nova was like watching a full-length movie every week, where a group of folks are saved from extinction by traveling back in time to a prehistoric earth. But there are way too many conflicts among the characters and not nearly enough dinosaurs eating people for breakfast. A big tease not worth an hour of fast forwarding. (hanging by a thread)

Unforgettable, an hour-long mystery where detective Poppy Montgomery remembers every detail and Dylan Walsh looks constantly perplexed. I adore Poppy. I adore the fact that anyone is named Poppy. I think she’s beautiful. I want to be her friend. I like the show and I think it’s smart. I hope I can commit to this one at some point. (renewed)

And then the ones I just don’t get…
The Good Wife, because Julianna Margulies is so fucking serious all the time. I want someone to throw a water balloon at her. I think you have to be a woman to care about this boring patter.

Parks and Recreation, starring yukky Amy Poehler. Critics love it, I loathe her. Ditto for Joel McHale’s Community. Both try so so hard to deliver highbrow humor that it seems entertaining the audience is secondary.

Desperate Housewives jumped the shark years ago and I gave up in the show's final season. Enough bending characters to fit ridiculous plot twists. Desperate, indeed.

Up All Night with Christina Applegate and Will Arnett. So you had a baby and it cries a lot and you’re learning to be parents. Keep it to yourself. Yawn! (renewed)

Whitney: Worst of the worst… and renewed for a full season? That says it all. The networks have returned to programming for the lowest common denominator.

Modern Family: So good for so short a time. After rabid success, it appears the writers are playing it safe by making each character a cartoon character. Phil remains refreshingly funny, but I can't bear watching the gay couple. Do these guys even like each other? They seem utterly miserable together. Over it.

And the one show of the new season I adore: ABC's Revenge, the millennial version of an '80s' nighttime soap. The plot of a crafty young woman (played with precision by Emily VanCamp) seeking to get even with all those who wronged her deceased daddy—and her interactions with frosty bitch Madeleine Stowe—are fabulous fun.

It doesn't hurt a bit that she's also romantically involved with yummy Joshua Bowman. And the Hamptons setting amid oozing wealth adds to its delicious madness. The series has been renewed for a full season, while Stowe recently garnered a Golden Globe for her role as ice queen Victoria Grayson; and the show for Favorite New TV Drama at the People's Choice Awards. Hopefully, that means Revenge will be with us for as long as it chooses to.

And so, the verdict: I'd rather read a magazine.

FALL TV SEASON: Wednesday Night's Tube Feast

The tele schedule for Wednesday is a tangled web, with overlapping new shows I'd like to check out clashing with the tried and true. Even Tivo can't solve my scheduling conundrums this time.

At 8 p.m., nothing is going to preempt my dedication to the third-season opener of The Middle, TV's best, albeit seemingly overlooked comedy. Ray Romano guests—amusing, since Patricia Heaton played his hubby on Everybody Loves Raymond (a show I pretty much detested as much as I adore Middle). The Heck family is so deliciously dysfunctionally crafted, with poor geek daughter Sue, would-be teen hipster son Axl and the weirdest character on TV, young son Brick, who whispers his inner thoughts out loud. Tonight's episode runs a full hour.

Unfortunately, that means I'm missing the launch of The X Factor, with cute host Steve Jones and the reunion of judges Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul, which I'd like to watch, if only to add to the ratings so that American Idol is further humiliated. Boo to Fox for counter-programming its new juggernaut against The Middle.

At 9 p.m., I'll join the rest of the nation for season three of Modern Family, which, of course, wiped up the Emmy Awards. ABC is airing back-to-back episodes, first featuring the Pritchett clan at a dude ranch in Jackson Hole, Wyo., then Mitchell and Cameron intending to adopt a second kid (zzzz).

At 10 p.m., I'm staying with ABC for the pilot of Revenge, about some chick played by Emily VanCamp who has it out for a bunch of rich people that screwed her diddy in the past. While the drama doesn't sound overly intriguing—and advance reviews are tepid—I'm tuning in because it's set in fave locale Southampton and co-stars dreamy Josh Bowman (best known for allegedly dating Amy Winehouse and Miley Cyrus). Considering that the show is up against CSI and Law & Order, it sounds like ABC doesn't have much faith, either.