People Mag Announces 2013 Annual 'Sexiest Man Alive'... Huh?!

And the Sexiest Man Alive for 2013, according to People mag is... Adam Levine? Say what? Huh? Really? Um... ha ha ha, NO!

Among its other oddball picks: Jimmy Fallon, Idris Elba, "I never ever smile" Justin Timberlake and Pharrell Williams.Who the hell judged this thing? A posse of hungry housewives who watch TV all day? One things's for sure: It wasn't a gay man in da know.

Meanwhile, the man who should have won—Chris Pine—is at least among the dozen featured online (the No. 3 Smoking Nun runner-up for Sexiest Man Alive in 2010)... alongside Justin Theroux, Luke Bryan, Bruno Mars and David Beckham.

The issue landed delicately on newsstands November 22, with giant question marks radiating into the heavens. *People mag Top Men finalists for 2013... Below, a pretty awesome piece from the issue on John Stamos, featuring his "Portrait of Dorian Gray." Mighty clever.

David Beckham's Latest H&M Undies Campaign: For Real?

David Beckham's Fall 2012 campaign for his H&M Bodywear line reveals that the man's prominent bulge continues to be a source of pride for the soccer player.

Honestly, this makes Calvin Klein's undies ads from the 1980s look like white bread.

A webbie search for "David Beckham" and "H&M" brings up the word "bulge" almost without exception, from even the most respected mainstream sites. There's just no denying this man's worldly attributes, is there? Hey, no complaints here! Bring it on, sir. *

Joe Jonas Is ALL Grown Up... Mercy Mercy Meese!

Now how did I miss this? Joe Jonas, now 23, is not only all growed up, cool cats, but he appears to have matured with qualities a la David Beckham, if you know what I'm sayin'.

As I was doing some, uh, casual web surfing, it became clear to me that Mr. Jonas has gained quite a viral online reputation for his masculine attributes... which is certainly something that I not only appreciate but pretty much treasure.

Further investigation of my own revealed some eye-popping evidence that the rumors are indeed correct. Feast your own eyes, courtesy of The Smoking Nun. Ooh la la! *

Best Global Magazine Covers: October 2012

Our monthly look at magazine covers around the world reveals somewhat slim pickings for the beginning of fall 2012... Where are all the sexy guys? We do have David Beckham on Europe's Esquire, but really, can't we do better... while Colin Farrell—looking a bit overly airbrushed—casts an odd expression on Men's Health overseas (also appearing on Details). Adele continues to dazzle on Rolling Stone. And Brazil's edition of Billboard offers a fun mash-up of Lady Gaga and Madonna. On the cover of Elle, Britney Spears has never looked more comely.

The celeb that appears on more covers this month than any other: Blake Lively, who begins a new season of Gossip Girl, in addition to her recent nuptials with perpetually gorgeous Ryan Reynolds. Daniel Craig is runner-up, as promotional wheels start turning for upcoming bond flick Skyfall (whose kickass new theme is sung by Adele).

Looking ahead, here's hoping that as the WB's Arrow gains traction, we'll be seeing Stephen Amell begin to grace covers of Men's Health, Men's Fitness... and The Smoking Nun's roster of candidates for 2012's Sexiest Men Alive.

And speaking of, we certainly can't leave out the best mag cover of the month: William Levy's appearance on People En Espanol as its encore Sexiest Man of the Year. Oh, yes! *

David Beckham's Bulge Towers 10-Feet Tall In NYC

H&M bulge model David Beckham, has released a second promotion for his Bodywear lines of undies at Swedish retailer H&M. This coincides with a 10-foot-tall silver statue of the soccer star at locations in Los Angeles, San Francisco and New York. In NYC, three of the statues are inside stores and three standing tall on the streets of the city, begging to be man-handled.

His second set of ads launches today, with new products to be added to the collection this fall.

"I'm very happy that people seem to like it and the first season was successful," Beckham says, while lightly touching his mammoth goodies. "The challenge is to keep it going and establish a brand that will last many years. That is my ambition." Ambition is certainly a apropos word to describe the attributes of Mr. Beckham. *

Aussie Mag DNA Celebrates 15 Years Of Aussiebum

"There has been a change in men's attitudes toward clothes. Men are more aware of fashion; they're not afraid of it." —Calvin Klein 

This month, Aussie gay mag DNA celebrates its 150th issue with a shout-out to Aussiebum. That upstart underwear company has the distinction of being among the first to offer wares designed to give men an extra push... A little pocket in which one tucks their jewels made one big difference.

The runaway success of its novel underwear design led to a rethinking of men's undergarments, bringing the "bulge" back into fashion with a bang it hadn't seen since the late 1970s' machismo signature (read: a sock stuffed in the front of one's jeans) created by gays in San Francisco.

Today, crotch-focal undies have reached the mainstream, led by Andrew Christian (lower pic). Just take a look at David Beckham's modeling pics in his scivvies. Any further questions? It certainly makes for a much prettier world. *

Fashion: Calvin Klein 30 Years Later, Still Pushing Buttons

It's been almost 30 years since a bold and beautiful 1983 Times Square ad featuring Olympic athlete Tom Hintnaus posing in his Calvin Kleins... which revolutionized the advertising industry, if not the Klein signature. For the first time, men were allowed to be as sexy—and sexually overt—as women in print adverts, thanks to what was then considered a risque visual from Bruce Weber.

Today, thankfully, men are regularly objectified in underwear ads (praise god!), with celebrities from Mark Wahlberg to David Beckham and Mario Lopez happily strutting around in next to nothing. As with most trends in fashion, the entire undercurrent began in the what was then the gay-subculture. Both Klein and Weber are gay and had a vision, which they swiped straight from the pages of the Undergear and International Male catalogs, which were celebrating the male form long before it was splashed across a New York City billboard.

Things aren't so different today. Within the past five years, undies makers like 2(x)ist,Andrew Christian and Aussie Bum have made their fortunes marketing to the gay market boldly saying, at last, what everybody had always been thinking... "We're designing underbritches to lift and push." In a word: the package became mainstream.

Now, in 2012, Calvin Klein is introducing us to a new breed of strapping bucks wearing nothing but their Calvins—and bearing all for the world to see. Their latest breakout model is Matthew Terry, a Pennsylvania native who is the face... and crotch... of its new "Bold" line. Indeed. He is now gracing magazine covers, fashion spreads and gaining fame, all because he has such a... pronounced physique. Bring it on, baby. And let the men continue to have their day in the spotlight. *

David Beckham Becomes 'Elle' Mag's First Solo Cover Boy

The 37-year-old David Beckham is Elle magazine’s first-ever solo male cover boy. So hot the mag released two versions. *

Checking In With Smoking Nun's Sexiest Man Alive Rodiney Santiago

Well mercy, almighty, it's been nearly a month since we've checked in on Rodiney Santiago, arguably the Smoking Nun's all-time Sexiest Man Alive.

Our sweet boy has recently traveled to Rio, indulging us with scintillating beach bum poses: Truly, the bounty that David Beckham offers to men's underwear, Rodiney is equally fulfilling to the Speedo's signature. He's also recently updated his webbie with lots of new picolas. Ready or not: Ooh la la! *

Super-Sized David Beckman Looms Mighty LARGE Over NYC

David Beckham peers down upon New York's Penn Station in all his overtly masculine glory, thanks to a 220-foot-tall billboard that was hand-painted over the course of two weeks, advertising his new line of undies for H&M's bodywear. I must say, I'd have been frightened being so close to a 12-foot packed crotch. Or... maybe not.

The ad follows his $3.6 million teaser ad that ran during the Super Bowl, which, in an apparent attempt not to intimidate the primarily male audience watching, barely showed the goods we all care to see in his precious Bodywear.

Meanwhile, a new Calvin Klein billboard on Houston Street, which I walked by Friday night and sighed over with admiration, offers equal time to a scantily clad dude, with his own three-story crotch. Typically, this space dares to thrill with barely dressed women. Equal time, at last! *