States Petition To Secede Following Obama Win: Have At It!

This is just too good to be true. In the wake of last week's presidential election in which President Barack Obama won his bid for reelection—becoming the first President since FDR to win more than 50% of the popular vote consecutive times—thousands of sulking Americans have signed petitions seeking permission for their states to secede from the United States.

States include many of those you would expect, including Mississippi, Alabama, Arkansas, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Kentucky, Louisiana, North Carolina, Tennessee and Texas. A webbie called We the People is launching the initiative so that cry baby citizens from these states can "create their own government." So far, Texas has the most signatures, which still isn't saying much, logging more than 23,000. So what!

Sadly, the odds of the American government granting any state permission to go its own way are nil. In addition, a University of Louisville political science professor explains that such petitions aren't uncommon. They were also filed following the 2004 and 2008 elections. However, if the 2012 petitions garner 25,000 signatures in a month, they will require an official response from the Obama administration. I hope he will be laughing through his tears.

I firmly believe this is one helluva boffo idea. Let Mississippi and Alabama retreat back to their roots, where "coloreds," "queers," "womyn" and the rest of those weirdos are banished from the state so that ancient white men can live in peace, by themselves, until they all die off... one by miserable one. *