The Innocence of Childhood: Psyche!

Thank god for children’s author Judith Vigna, whose robust series of book titles truly spells out how to make any child want to run far far away, perhaps into a forest full of goblins or maybe under the bed, to the safety of the green two-headed monster. Both sound a lot more comforting than the idea of being presented any of her “helpful” books as a birthday present.

For instance, in the sweet, winsome “Nobody Wants A Nuclear War,” imagine peepaw reading to little Betsy about a "mother who discovers her small daughter and son have built a shelter to protect themselves from nuclear attact. She explains that grownups all over the world are working hard to make the world safe for children to grow up in.” Can you imagine the next time a car backfires? Little Betsy is on Zoloft for the rest of her life.

Or “I Wish Daddy Didn’t Drink So Much,” categorized as “a realistic story about Lisa, whose father is an alcoholic.” What's a few highballs a night between daddy and the bottle? Geez, some folks are so touchy. But that's not nearly as bad as what's happening further down Mulberry Lane, as meemaw gathers the kiddies around the fireplace to share “Saying Goodbye To Daddy.” Giggle: “Frightened, lonely, and angry after her father is killed in a car accident, Clare is helped through the grieving process by her mother and grandfather.” What a fun read! Let's have candied apples now!

What a wonderful world it is indeed! Some other sweet books by this happy-go-lucky author: “Mommy and Me By Ourselves Again,” “Daddy’s New Baby,” “Gregory’s Stitches” and the best: “She’s Not My Real Mother.” No wonder "My Big Sister Takes Drugs." I can see it now, as Ms. Vigna sits down with the 6 o'clock news and ponders, "Rape! Murder! Incest! Perfect!" before sitting down with her decaf green tea, a warm piece of apple pie... and a pen filled with blood. "Boo!!"

Cool cats, you just can't make this shit up.