You can't make this shit up... Kanamara Matsuri is Festival of the Phallus that takes place each Spring in Kawasaki, Japan. The origins stem from an innkeeper's daughter who had the poor judgment to match up with a demon who possessed sharp teeth, who ultimately, uh, took residence in her kootycat, then wielding his teeth against any companions who dared to consummate relations with the fine lady. A blacksmith became her savior when he created a steel penis, which broke the demon's teeth.
I swear I ain't lying, cool cats. I'm even sober as I post it.
Hilarious!
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