Thursday, December 2, 2010

Grammys Score A Perfect Zero (Again)

Another depressing year in Grammy-land, as this year's nominations, announced today, prove that the music biz's alleged professionals have no earthly idea what the hell they're talking about. Hey, wait, I'm a NARAS Grammy-voting member. Oops.

Justin Bieber for Best New Artist? God help us. To make matters worse, his competition is the overhyped Drake, alongside three acts that no one has ever heard of: Florence & The Machine, Mumford & Sons and Esperanza Spalding. Gee, I wonder who might win... just before the sun forever sets on the civilized world.

At least this year, Paul McCartney and James Taylor weren't nominated for Best Pop Male Vocal. Instead, we have the deserving Michael Buble, Bruno Mars and Adam Lambert, with critic darling John Mayer and the dead Michael Jackson. "This Is (not) It."

Female Pop: Gaga! Hurrah! Katy Perry, yes. Norah Jones, no thanks. Sara Barellies, a stretch, and Beyonce, please stick more needles in my eyes. At least Lena Horne didn't get a posthumous nod. I still haven't forgiven her for trumping Sheena Easton in 1983.

Best Pop Vocal Album: Justin Bieber vs. Susan Boyle! Take the little castrada down, girl!

Eminem is nominated for everything else. But, hey, at least Black Eyed Peas and Bruce Springsteen were shut out. There's hope for the world yet.