Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Nicki Minaj: America's Latest Lame Talent

The swath of the great untalented is swelling like a rising tsunami on the pop music charts... Who ever imaged that pig-nosed castrada Justin Bieber would become old news?

For one, I'm still smarting over the fact that Willow Smith's parents Will and Jada Smith were able to pay a major label enough to foster the precocious "Whip My Hair" into a chart presence... Gross.

And now, Nicki Minaj steps into the spotlight... with her debut album launching at No. 2—behind the equally untalented Kanye West—all based on her image as the penultimate whore, with a trio of hits that are among the most gimmick-ridden, least listenable hits since Black Eyed Peas garnered fame.

The first time I heard her "Your Love," which comprises a lame rap and a chorus hook from Annie Lennox's elegant "No More I Love You's," I figured there was no way such a horror would gain radio traction. Wrong. The "song" peaked at No. 14 on the singles chart and spent eight weeks atop the rap chart. Then came "Check It Out," which aligned the slut with equally gimmicky will.i.am. Two times gruesome.

Album "Pink Friday," released Nov. 19, promises that there's much more to come, as the media machine launches into overdrive, clawing at anyone it believes is a star, whether or not talent accompanies (read: Kardashians).

And we were doing so well, with Gaga and a host of newbies leading the new decade with a parade of hit uptempo melodic music. Now a backward slide with more hip-hop sans much more than a giant set of boobs and an assortment of wigs. Who knew that I'd gun for Susan Boyle and her lethargic warbling over the likes of Minaj-a-trollop.