Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Teen Squirt Justin Bieber... Huh?

There's more than one reason why the 2010 version of "We Are the World" was a colossal flop. The nearly minute-long coarse rap section, with bleating from Will.I.Am, made the production unlistenable, while offering the opening line to teen squirt Justin Bieber is simply inexplicable. His prominence overshadowed the real talent of Jennifer Hudson, Josh Groban, Pink, Toni Braxton, Celine Dion and Barbra Streisand. For that matter, Jamie Foxx didn't do much to help its serious intent, either.

I've always been a proponent of teen idols, from David Cassidy and Bobby Sherman to Hanson, 'N Sync, Backstreet Boys, Westlife, 98 Degrees... Not only have they historically proffered some great pop melodies, but they offer youngsters their first taste of puppy love, which, in turn, develops a life-long love for music.

Justin Bieber. I don't get it. He's hideous, with a Miss Piggy snout. Dude has bad hair. The punk sounds like a castrati. And yet he's storming the charts: Album "My World 2.0" debuted at No. 1, while previous platinum-selling "My World" simultaneously moves into the top 10; the kid sold out Madison Square Garden; he hosted "Saturday Night Live" last week. Even Ludacris thought the chump was promising enough to align on their gruesome hit "Baby."

Taylor Swift I don't love, but I understand her appeal to middle America. Miley Cyrus has less talent than my pinky fingernail, but I acknowledge that she has some great pop songs ("Party in the USA"). But Bieber. What the fuck?