Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Quite Possibly The Most Horrendous Image I've Seen... Millions Protest!

There are soooooooo many things wrong here. So many. So. many. Where to begin? Justin Bieber showing any signs of sexuality. Ew. Ewwww! Worse: His lips are touching the face of pop music's biggest skank. Oh, I hope lil' Biebs washed out his mouth thoroughly with lye soap. Third: Nicki Minaj. That's it. Gross-out. Period.

And the biggest offense of all: A mother fucking duet between the two least talented pop stars of the generation, which is included on Bieber's upcoming Believe CD. I do believe... that I'm going to have to swallow hard not to barf.

As you can see in the image to the left, millions of citizens around the world have taken to the streets to protest this offensive image: "Yuk!" we're hollering with unified fervor. I'm the one in the green shirt to the left. I really like that shirt. See it, with the plaid collar?

Now here's the clencher, and I am willing to admit defeat: “Beauty and the Beat” is a damn good song. A party anthem with awesome beats and an adhesive chorus... Bieber (although processed beyond recognition) is actually singing like a pop star instead of all that phony R&B "I'm down wit dat" crap" that he learned from Usher... I am 100% serious.

Unfortunately, just when I was starting to have a damn fine time... here comes Nicki's faux squawky squeak, with typical intellectual zest: “Justin Bieber, you know i’mma hit ‘em with the ether, Buns out, weiner, but I gotta keep my eye out for Selen-er." What? Huh? What the fuck are you talking about? If I were Selena Gomez, I'd be running for the hills... Oh, what a world. (Hear the track for yourself here.) *