Emmy Awards

Okay, so no play-by-play coverage of the Emmys tonight... just a quick wrapola...

Ultimate Winner: Neil Patrick Harris, the consummate new young out gay host of all such events. Billy Crystal looks like a lesbian and Hugh Jackman is a little bit busy. He was absolutely charming.

Outstanding Comedy Series: "30 Rock" deserved to win again. "How I Met Your Mother" is standard network fare, "Flight of the Conchords" is an acquired taste—which I have not—"Entourage" is feeling rusty and "Family Guy," while hilarious and a clever nominee, was a long shot and simply not as socially relevant as the winner. It's high time that "The Office" was laid off and "Weeds," while fun, simply ain't as sharp as "30."

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series: Alec Baldwin, "30 Rock." He acted his fat ass off in this series. No question, he deserved to win.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series: Glenn Close for "Damages." Come on, hasn't she already won every award known to man? I adore Holly Hunter and watched "Saving Grace," and you know what? It was horrid. I'd have loved Sally Field to win for "Brothers & Sisters." She is the anchor.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series: Toni Collette for "United States of Tara." Brilliant actress, unwatchable show. God knows I tried to like it. She plays a half-dozen schizo characters, so I get it. She needs to eat some solid food... too skinny! Tina Fey won last year, fine, and as long as Julia Louis-Dreyfus in "The New Adventures of Old Christine" never wins an award for anything, you could give the award to Paris Hilton and I'd be happy. That woman has as much talent as my pinky. Why was she nom'ed?

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series: Kristin Chenoweth for "Pushing Daisies." When she sang "Hopelessly Devoted To You," I burst into tears and watched it on Tivo again and again. I'd have been happy with Jane Krawkowski or Vanessa Williams, but I was perfectly pleased.

Outstanding Made for Television Movie: "Grey Gardens." The only award I was invested in all evening. If this lost, I'd have just chewed off my fingers. And thus...Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries or a Movie: Jessica Lange in "Grey Gardens." Should have gone to Drew Barrymore for proving her reach as an actress. Lange has gotten her share of accolades, although I was delighted that in her acceptance speech, she gave Drew such credit. Disappointed, but I'd have had a big nelly fit if neither of them had won.

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or a Movie: Ken Howard in "Grey Gardens." Right on.

Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series: Justin Timberlake on "Saturday Night Live." What the fuck? There's an Emmy for just doing your job?

Outstanding Guest Actress in a Comedy Series: Tina Fey on "Saturday Night Live" as Sarah Palin. Now that's a just plain "duh." If this were the Grammys, Paul McCartney or Bruce Springsteen would have won. Thank god the Emmys got it right!

Okay, I'm done... yawn...