Thursday, October 11, 2012

Celine Dion & Justin Bieber Are Kissing Cousins (From The 1600s)

Oops, I think I just spit up a little on my keyboard. is reporting a cruel, cruel reality: Apparently, Canadians Celine Dion and Justin Bieber are kin. Let's call it beauty and the beast!

Genealogists swear they’ve discovered that teen castrado Justin Bieber is a distant relative of the world's greatest singer, Celine Dion. Not only that, but Biebs is a way far-off cousin of movie hottie Ryan Gosling and granola rocker Avril Lavigne. Their family link dates back to some of Quebec’s earliest settlers 400 years ago.

"The great thing about family history is that you never know what you’re going to find," said Michelle Ercanback, a researcher with "It was a very pleasant surprise."

The Smoking Nun added: "Michelle, are you high? Linking Celine and Justin Bieber as kissing cousins is like dressing a hog in Chanel. Get real, girl!"

According to the webbie, Bieber and Dion are 10th cousins three times removed, linked to French couple Jacques Vezina and Marie Boisdon, who were born in the early 1600s. They moved to Quebec, where they died in 1687. Smoking Nun-sense: Apparently, Marie was a fine singer, while Jacques's voice never changed... although he still gained fame via financing through serb and friend Le Usher.

Meanwhile, Bieber and Gosling are 11th cousins once removed, while Bieber and Lavigne are 12th cousins. They share common relatives Mathurin Roy and Marguerite Bire. Both were born in France in the early 1600s, married in 1637, and moved to Quebec, where Roy worked as a master mason. Man, they're all practically sisters! *