Friday, February 24, 2012

Here's Why Some Straights Should Never Be Allowed To Breed

TLC's horrifying Toddlers & Tiaras typically peddles the most abhorrent examples of what bad parenting can do to little tykes. There is little that's more obnoxious than a precocious child who believes she is precious and clever—except a gruesome big mama bear who engenders such behavior.

And thus: Meet 6-year-old Alana "Honey Boo Boo Child" Thompson and her hillbilly coupon-hoarding mother June from McIntyre, Ga., in matching fairy princess costumes. It's enough to make you demand statewide sterility laws... And yet, as you might imagine, gays—who wouldn't be caught dead dressing their daughter as such—cannot adopt there. The irony!Worst case scenario: When beauty pageant contestants turn from the above... to the below... *