
It's probably the one time during the year where I stop to watch the commercials, while fast
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6 p.m.: I'm a fan of country music, but my lord, that opening version of "America the Beautiful" sounded more like "Americer the Real Purty." Couldn't Miranda Lambert & Blake Shelton sing without infusing the song with such down-home Southern histrionics? Too much.


7 p.m.: In the first hour, there have already been nine commercial breaks of varying lengths. My god, this is going to be a long night... The Pepsi spot with Elton John and X Factor winner Melanie Amaro was good stuff... Wonder who that hot guy is in the Hyundai Cheetah ad... Hey, Vanessa Williams is an M&M! Now, Barry Manilow in a post-apocalyptic commercial for Chevy.. that was alarming; really in poor taste... The David Beckham H&M ad (which I've seen online) was nothing but a cheap tease... Pepsi polar bears; what is this, 1980?...

7:07p.m.: The New York Giants score a touchdown. Sweet!
8:00p.m.: Halftime, already, and I haven't watched one second of football. This has been painless! Madonna time! "Vogue" opens... (see it on YouTube here). This already looks mammoth! Is it my imagination or does the quality of the broadcast look different, as if this is film? Thank heavens Madonna is lip-syncing, bless her heart. That stage is magnificent, eh? Hey, Black Eyed Peas: This is how it's done.
Second number: "Music." Madge doesn't dance so much, anyone, does she? More like strutting, while the kid dancers do the heavy lifting... Now her new song "Give Me All Your Luvin'." This is a pretty silly ditty, to be honest. Still reminds

Costume change! "Like A Prayer." What a wonderful choice... The scenery is beautiful. Larger than life (especially Ceelo, who looks like an enormous plum as he screams and tries his damndest to ruin Madonna's song)...
Uh, wait... that's it? It's over? Seriously? Whoa... I'm suddenly longing for Lady Gaga. That was pretty and all, but by no means, historic. Last year's Peas was ghastly. This year I feel... non-plussed. Wowsah...
Jon Pareles writes: Madonna the bad girl was forgotten in her Super Bowl halftime extravaganza. A
grown-up flanked by younger collaborators, Madonna was not the indefatigable trouper of past decades; her moves were measured, and she let acrobats from Cirque du Soleil offer distractions. This was Madonna as a former party girl turned regent: a gold-crowned queen on her throne, a homecoming queen strutting in the bleachers, a reverently uplifting church singer.

8: 16 p.m.: More ads: Awesome commercial for The Voice with Betty White. The endless woe-is-us ad for Chrysler featuring Clint Eastwood made me want to jump off a bridge; thanks for that... Will Arnett needs to go away forever; a one-trick pony humorist, and the joke ain't

8:45 p.m.: Patriots: 17; Giants, 12. Come on, New York. If you have to have a dorky looking quarterback with Eli Manning, you could at least win this thing. New England doesn't deserve hot Tom Brady and the trophy.

9:29 p.m.: The droning anti-Apple ad for Samsung cell was among the most asinine I've seen tonight. And BTW, does anyone really think monkeys in commercials is funny anymore?
9:31 p.m.: Four minutes left in the game. Looks


9:41 p.m.: Tick, tick, tick...I have no idea what's going on, but this is tight... New York could win if they get to kick a field goal. I think... God, I loathe when sportcasters scream, as if something truly significant has really happened... one of the primary reasons I cannot bear to watch sports... Nothing is so overwhelming that these dudes need to lose their cool like this... 30 seconds remaining... I'm wholly confused. Whoa, at 9:45 p.m., the Giants score. They're in the lead!! Hey, this game is exciting, after all. I'll be damned.
9:53 p.m.: The Giants win!! Yeah! I'm opening the window now to hear if people are yelling outside! I heart New York! I might yell myself. *
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