Don't Let Smoking Sap NY's Pristine Air!

As anyone who has been to New York knows, the air here is as pure and fresh as an Alaska sunrise. Those buses spewing exhaust are a mere figment of your imagination. The fragrance of urine in the subways: That's drugstore cologne. And garbage rotting on the streets is a collective of public art exhibits.

That's why it's essential that the Bloomberg administration passes its latest canon to censor civil liberties by banning smoking in public parks, beaches and pedestrian plazas... because that second-hand smoke that instantly dissipates into the air is more dangerous than anything in the metropolis' atmosphere. Hey idiot, big government knows better than you.

My god, and the kids! Without government intervention, your stupid children will see those wicked smokers and instantly adopt a lifetime of bad habits; new laws are much more effective than good parenting, right? The fact that it's illegal for minors to buy cigs... you hush now... It's more important that the New York Nanny State mandate what's best for citizens.

Yesterday, the busybody City Council debated the issue of smoking in public for hours. One taxpayer noted at the packed hearing, "That is none of the government's business when we're talking about a legal behavior." Indeed. So far, there's no vote on the matter, but what Bloomberg wants, he pays for. Consider it done.

It's been shown time and again that studies "proving" the dangers of second-hand smoke are fraudulent: 90% of secondary smoke is water vapor and ordinary air with a minor amount of carbon dioxide. The argument that cigarette smoke is "dangerous" is hype; studies dating back to 1993 have drawn the same conclusion over and over.

And the irritation factor? Last I checked, screaming babies, rowdy children, double-wide strollers... and smoking... were all legal. Courtesy, yes; legislation, please, no more.

Next up: Let's bring back prohibition! Alcohol makes people act stupid, yeah? And you know that if children see drunks, they're doomed to a lifetime of alcoholism. It's dangerous to drink and walk! Come on, Bloomberg, there's work to be done.