Bloomberg: Re-Elect Me And All Your Cares Will Disappear!

Michael Bloomberg has never needed a gimmick in his bids for NYC mayor: The billionaire simply paid his way by greasing palms and buying votes—including his still jaw-dropping feat of doing away with a city statute that limited him to his current two terms—just cause he's having so much fun.

Gawker reports today that with Bloomie's approval ratings at their lowest since his second term began in 2005, he's scrambling to ward off potential candidates with real ideas to help middle-class New Yorkers. Suddenly, he cares about public transportation! Hurrah, our savior!

The New York Times says that his plans include free crosstown buses! Extending the V subway line from the Lower East Side into Brooklyn! Express service on the F line! And countdown clocks indicating when the next subway arrives!

Of course, what our closeted mayor fails to reveal in his ads is that he has no authority to do any of this: The MTA is subject to little control by the mayor, who controls only 4 of 17 votes on the board.

As Gawker notes, "Reelect Mayor Bloomberg and he promises an express train that runs directly from your apartment to work, and it will be free, and it will have a non-stop open bar!"

As Bitchy D comments alongside the post, "His cronyism, money and ego are ruining the city. It's time to see him and his bullshit out the door." Where to begin with the class disparity he has fostered in the city... Shall we start with the Bowery and its grotesque influx of million-dollar highrises in the shadow of restaurant supply and lighting stores? The persistent influx of chain retailers? The continuous insistence to further tax residents with his failed bid to install tolls to every entry into the city? His novel ability to change politicos' opinions by providing them "bonuses" from his own pocket? His proponents love to talk about how much he gives away to charitable causes... How about tossing a few million dollars to a city that is in desperate need of reform... starting with kicking his hind-quarters out of office.