Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Katy's Perry's Evangelical Mom Disses Boobs; Oh, And BTW, Ma's Shopping A Book Deal

The New York Post reports that pop star Katy Perry's evangelical mama is raising her hands to Jesus in protest over her daughter's bountiful feminine assets.

The poor woman claims she was mortified when she saw the outfits Katy dons onstage: "Katy stepped out from behind the changing doors in a tiny risqué costume. No mother wants to see the top of her daughter's boobs. My first instinct was to order her back behind those doors and demand she put something else on. However, I had no problem letting my eyebrows say what I wouldn't allow my mouth to utter."

Conveniently, Mary Perry Hudson's second instinct is to cash in on her daughter's success by peddling a memoir. Amen to that, opportunistic sister! She is shopping a proposal on how her daughter's song lyrics, racy outfits and "foul-mouthed" husband Russell Brand have affected her Christian ministry. Oh, brother...Mary insists her tome is "not Christian proselytizing" or a Katy tell-all, but assures—with $$$ in her teary eyes—"Fans will flock to the bookstores to snatch up a copy to get a glimpse of their stars through Mary's eyes."

How very pure it sounds. Mary yammered on to the Post, "Dear God, how can I save her from all this? The money, the fame, the network, how can I compete?

Further, when Perry sings the chorus to her first hit, "I kissed a girl and I liked it," Mary bemoaned her "promotion" of homosexuality, whimpering, "One part of my heart soared, the other broke for the thousands of hungry souls being fed something that didn't nourish their spirit, but fed their flesh."

I'm thinking the part of her heart that soared was that which is frothing for a book deal.