Wednesday, April 25, 2012

HGTV Porn: 'Kitchen Cousins' The Hottest Guys On The Network

HGTV has certainly served up its share of hot hosts and rugged construction crew titans that are damn good with their tools. But we've never quite seen the likes of the soft porn delivered weekly in the burgeoning series Kitchen Cousins (airing Wednesdays at 8:30 p.m.). The familial dripping hot twosome launches their second season on HGTV, Wednesday, May 2.

In the past, we've swooned over the likes of Income Property's Scott McGillivray, Color Splash's David Bromstad, Curb Appeal's John Gidding and dethroned Carter Can's Carter Oosterhouse (all that shit about "green design" was a big snooze). Sorry Property Brothers... not so much.

But with Kitchen Cousins' Anthony Carrino and John Colaneri, forget about that dream reno: Just sit back and dream naughty thoughts about these Italian dudes in their tight-fitting denim while they move around refrigerators and kitchen cabinets... as their biceps swell and glisten.

Anthony is the more compact of the two, almost pretty with a huge smile and gorgeous teeth. He is the more playful of the pair, from what we see in the series. And good lord he is a tribute to Levi Strauss with the way he packs those britches. John, meanwhile, has smiling eyes that resemble George Clooney, and is the big, brawny hunk next door with just enough beard stubble to let you know he probably has to shave three of four times a day to keep up with all of that testosterone. He is also a godsend to the joys of well-fitting jeans... All I know is, I want to attend their next family reunion. Wowsah! See the guys on Facebook here. *