Emmy Awards: Wait, This Is U.S. Television?

Apparently, I am so off the radar when it comes to popular TV that I might as well just lock in to TV Land and call it a day... Except for "Glee's" delightful 19 nods, the prime-time Emmy Awards are pretty much a total disconnect for meese.

For example:
* "American Idol" nominated for Outstanding Reality series? Was it my imagination, or has this series not only jumped the shark, but been devoured creatively by a school of guppies? To laud its crass lack of effort and coercive judging is beyond me.

* Lead Comedy Actor: Larry David for "Curb Your Enthusiasm"? As funny as burnt toast. Tony Shalhoub for "Monk"? Funny as a dead daisy. Where's David Duchovny for "Californication"?

* Outstanding Lead Actress/Comedy: Amy Poehler for the miserably unfunny "Parks and Recreation," the brilliant Toni Collette for the bafflingly unamusing "United States of Tara," Edie Falco for the self conscious, jarringly rude "Nurse Jackie," and once again, one-trick pony Julia Louis-Dreyfus for the dreadful "New Adventures of Old Christine." Has the nominating committee watched anything truly funny this season? Where's the refreshing Busy Philipps from "Cougar Town"?

* Outstanding Lead Actor/Drama: Hugh Laurie for "House" again? That's not drama; it's self-loathing. At least Kyle Chandler in "Friday Night Lights" is handsome, even if it's about sports.

* Outstanding Lead Actress/Drama: Julianna Margulies in "The Good Wife." I tried in vain to enjoy this oh-so-earnest new series. Zzzzz. Glenn Close again?

* Outstanding Comedy Series: Thank god for "Glee," to offset yesterday's news: "Curb Your Enthusiasm," "30 Rock," "The Office."

* Variety, Music Or Comedy Series: At least Jay Leno was deservedly absent. They got that one right.

* Outstanding Commercial: Who knew this was a category. Old Spice! Hurrah!!

Jimmy Fallon is hosting the telecast? That settles it: I can't wait to not tune in!