Friday, July 30, 2010

Nanny State: Now Vomiting Is A Crime!

Oh, what a delicate, erudite society we live in. Some poor dude has been charged with assault, harassment and disorderly conduct for barfing at a sporting event in April.

Oh, all right, it was deliberate, but so what. Should we electrocute pigeons that poop on your shoulder, too?

The deal: 21-year-old Matthew Clemmens of New Jersey admits he stuck his fingers down his throat and vomited on Michael Vangelo, an off-duty Easton police captain, and his 11-year-old daughter at a Phillies-Nationals game. I'm so sure they were perfectly behaved...

The maximum penalty is two years in jail, but because Clemmens has no previous offenses of upchucking or urinating in public or anything, he gets off with probation.

Prior to his plea, Clemmens was held on bail for $36,000 amid trumped-up complaints
of simple assault, reckless endangerment, harassment and disorderly conduct.

Geez, nobody can take a joke anymore. I thought everybody threw up at stadiums. Isn't that why they serve warm beer and hotdogs? It's an American pastime!