Sunday, May 22, 2011

Eau, Gross! Justin Bieber Adds To Empire With Fruity Fragrance

Justin Bieber really shouldn't put his nose where it doesn't belong. The 17-year-old castrado singer isadding to his mammoth empire of products that have nothing to do with music, launching women's perfume "Someday."

Sounding like a well-bred entrepreneur, Biebs told WWD, "Let's be real, the way a girl smells is very important to a guy. Creating a fragrance that I personally love is another way I can bring (fans) closer to my world."

Let me translate that for youse: "My 15 minutes is likely to come to an unfortunate end anytime now. I can't sing, I'm ugly as sin, so let me continue to cash in while the getting's good."

The $35 fragrance is described as a "fruity gourmand" (wouldn't you love to hear Bieber say those words?) and will launch in June. A TV commercial filmed in the gravity-free cabin of a Boeing 737 NASA training jet will air from Black Friday through Christmas.

Justin's management has already engineered in his name (pictured above) a line of nail polish(??), headphones, singing dolls (Satan!), a themed comic book, a 3D biopic, fucking 240-page autobiography First Step 2 Forever: My Story, and unisex fragrance "My World" (named for his album). The latter comes not in a bottle but in the form of scented wristbands and dog tags(!)

I'm guessing a lesbian wig line is his next logical endeavor.