Monday, May 9, 2011

'Not Gay' GOP Congressman Aaron Schock Bares Abs In 'Men's Health'

"Not gay" 29-year-old bachelor Republican Congressman Aaron Schock wants America to get fit. But instead of preaching the advantages of healthy eating and exercise, as First Lady Michelle Obama has, he decided to prance around the cover of the June 2011 Men's Health.

Again, let me stress. Even though only queers read Men's Health, and although it's been reportedly numerous times that Schock hangs out in D.C. and Chicago gay bars, he is not homosexual. And the fact that his body language, voice and gestures fit every cliched stereotype of a sissy... nope, not gay.

Any remaining doubt? To prove how straight he is, the little squirt is ardently opposed to abortion and gay marriage. That makes it definite, then: gay.