One Year Later... A New Life In Virginia

In “The Book of Questions,” there’s a query that goes like this: “Which would you prefer: a wild, turbulent life filled with joy, sorrow, passion & adventure, intoxicating successes and stunning setbacks—or a happy, secure, predictable life without such wide swings of fortune and mood?”

It’s a question that has remained in my mind’s eye since I discovered the book in 1987. Ultimately, when I moved to New York City in 1995 for my dream job at Billboard magazine, I experienced the former. Life was crazy cool: so many highs amid a career that allowed me to prove my moxie as a writer in a forum that mattered—and apparently made a difference to the many artists I supported.

Among my roles there, my calling card was Singles Reviews Editor. I was the geeky pop guy that championed acts that seldom garnered kudos from the mainstream press. From Celine Dion and Jim Brickman to those 90s’ pop boom acts (‘N Sync, BSB, Jessica Simpson, 98 Degrees, Christina Aguilera, BBMak, Hanson), I became the de facto champion of “great melodies.”

I also had the opportunity (and the real estate) to amp newbie artists that deserved press from the industry’s “music Bible.” I recognized the power that BB’s team of veteran journalists possessed in an era when the mag still mattered—and man oh man, was it paid forward—through a lifetime’s worth of awesome memories (not to mention a robust Starfucker wall of grab & grin photos).

In 2009, when Nielsen was looking to sell the company, the recession presented an ideal excuse to excise Billboard’s veteran writers and lean up its bottom line. One by one, the talented scribes were laid off. March 25 was my D-Day. I was called in, fired—and yet had two interviews scheduled for the afternoon: a video

interview for billboard.com with Ashely Tisdale and a phoner with Lionel Richie.

Buck up, baby! I walked around Billboard’s East Village neighborhood for an hour after getting canned, shared the news with my work besties Kristina, Christa & Donna, whimpered a bit, and then put it aside to get on with business.

After the Lionel interview, I got an email from the label’s publicist that went something like this: “I don’t know what just happened, but Lionel said he had one of the best interviews of his career with you. Obviously, you got him—and he surely got you.” Well, then, a fitting finale.

The point of all this is to define life since then… and the details matter, because life was profoundly different in the years following. Suddenly, I was a “freelance journalist.” I know meeself: Give me an assignment and a deadline and I’ll deliver. I’m the ultimate minion. As a self-starter, um, not so much. I’m a fine writer but unfortunately, a less enterprising entrepreneur.

Thankfully, the U.S. Census came to my rescue. For nine months in 2010, I had the time of my life working with wickedly smart folks and learning to love my Brooklyn in a brand new way. I was there long enough to gambol through snowdrifts and then trod the streets with a summer flop sweat. Indelible. I also met Suzanne, a lifer friend.

In 2013, I finished renovating my Brooklyn Heights apartment. It took more than a decade and suddenly, I was… listless. Meanwhile, I tossed my own 50th birthday party the year before and recognized that… the times are a’changing.

Folks move on, lives change and friendships fade. Not to mention that NYC was no longer my bounty: no more wining & dining, free concerts, countless glamorous events or… most important… a concrete reason to be in the most expensive city in the nation. It didn’t help that my 10-year relationship came to a rather disastrous end in 2011.

And so: What the hell am I doing here?

In the summer of 2013, I began fantasizing about a new chapter. I sniffed out Las Vegas, Austin, San Diego, parts of Florida… I wanted warmth (the endless New York winters were exhausting) and space and a car and the ability to stretch out both arms without smacking a wall (in my 950 square foot apartment). I wanted my doggies Abby & Spencer to be able to RUN.

When I came to Hampton Roads that fall with life-long pal Trix in tow—staying with 20-year friends Bill & Mary—I was only “exploring” the area. I never expected to FIND MY FOREVER HOME. On September 13, 2013, I walked into this house in Norfolk and said: “I want to die here.”

On January 15, 2014, I began to LIVE here. That was one year ago today. And this is where I return to “The Book of Questions.” Highs and lows, indeed. First, this house is ridiculous… a 4,000sf mid-century modern “estate” that has maintained its aesthetic since it was built in 1962 (the year of my birth!). I am madly in love.

As soon as I hit Hampton Roads, I got busy: I’ve gutted two bathrooms, replaced all windows & sliding doors, installed a new HVAC system, ran a gas line, filled in a huge but sadly decrepit concrete pool… oh, and painted the front door red. That was among my only DIYs (I’ve learned over so many years to depend on the experts; I can’t cut a straight line with scissors).

I’ve worked the land, growing tomatoes, planting bulbs and harvesting sunflowers, I observe geese, seagulls, raccoons, squirrels, so many birds… and have witnessed sunrises & sunsets that foster a physical reaction that’s so warm & fuzzy you’d think I was experiencing my first kiss. Oh, yeah, and there’s that, too. I’ve even reignited that pitifully lacking aspect of my life (here in lil’ ole Norfolk). I've met new friends… and lost 25 pounds. (I’m particularly fond of the latter.)

Over the past year, there have also been challenges (here come the lows). Losing my beloved Schnauzers Abby & Spencer within three months, in August and October—with different illnesses—is the most difficult life event I have ever dealt with. I cannot understand it. My heart is still broken and I continue to cry.

In addition, when you’re 50, it’s not so easy to connect with newbies. And god knows when you work from home, it’s pretty much impossible to connect (duh). I’ve worked to put myself out there (I could do better, but couldn't we all?)—and there are a handful of wondrous new friends—but everybody has their established lives. I get it.

The good thing is that I am a writer. Is there any career that is more solitary? I think fellow journos will understand this: We are the ultimate extroverted introverts. Writing is wholly solitary. All of my life, that has been joyful. It’s just me and my beautiful words. We get along fine. And so… if I occasionally feel isolated in my new life here in Virginia, I step back and say to myself (not out loud… I haven’t reached that point yet)… “Damn, Chuck, you entertain the hell out of yourself.” So I guess we’re... uh... I’m happy enough. I happen to enjoy my own company immensely.

In all, ONE YEAR LATER, I am filled with joy each day to wake up with the sun rising through my bedroom window (drapes? hell, no!). Over coffee every morning (in the winter months), I open my iPhone weather App and compare Norfolk & NYC and utter a big “heeee.” Blissful weather!

Getting in a car on a whim and going anywhere… wheee!! Freedom! Taking a road trip to the Eastern Shore or Williamsburg… wowsah! Sniffing around Walmart, Dollar General, Big Lots, Dollar Tree and gargantuan grocery stores and paying next to nothing compared with $$$ in NYC... rah rah!! Even though I left NYC, I still live like a "depression baby."

And I have family here: my beloved Francie, and Mary & Bill, and that handful of new friends that I adore (more to come in 2015? I’m a fun guy, right?). My parents are now a 4-hour drive away.

Yes, I am fortunate to have this crazy cool home that I dig, indulge and truly treasure as a blessing. It's just plain fun. I know this is the kind of place that will "never be done," which, to me, is a beautiful thing. God knows I love a project. And right alongside, I am still in the midst of the grand evergoing project known as life. This still feels like a new beginning, with all hope for so much good to come. *

"Now my story has been told, time for the future to unfold..."—Junior Turner

2010 U.S. Census: Where The Boys Are (And Girls)

According to new statistics released by the 2010 U.S. Census, New York City recorded a 27% increase in the number of same-sex couples over the last 10 years. A total of 32,972 households reported themselves as same-sex couples last year, up from 25,906 in 2000.

Of course, this does not take into account either those who remain in the closet or the thousands of couples likely to proclaim their queerness once they can legally marry in the state on July 24.

WYNC nets it out for us: Not surprisingly, the largest percentage of gay pairings is concentrated in the corridor from Greenwich Village through Chelsea into Hells Kitchen, Manhattan's three primary gayborhoods. In onecensus tract bounded by Sixth and Eighth Avenues and 18th and 22nd streets—the heart of Chelsea—22% of all couples were same-sex.

In that same zone, gay male couples outnumber lesbians 226 to 36, pointing to a larger statistic: males make up 60% of the queer couples in the city. However, exceptions exist, not surprisingly in Park Slope, Brooklyn, where lesbian couples outnumber males.

WNYC also put together this handy, interactive map where you can zero in and click on any particular neighborhood. I was able to find my precise block in Brooklyn Heights (right), where I discovered that of 906 self-reported couples, 5.2% are gay. Hurrah!

U.S. Census Bureau Gives Props To Crop Of Top Staffers (Read: Massive Unemployment)

Why, you're mighty welcome!

Robert Groves, director of the U.S. Census Bureau, said one reason the 2010 Census cost far less than expected is because the government was able to attract much better workers for temporary Census jobs.

"The unemployment rate was so high that we had people working on tasks that we had prepared for folks who have very low skills," Groves told a group at Cornell University. "They finished up the operations faster than we thought, and better than we thought. So all of our productivity models were wrong, I mean seriously wrong."

The comments were confirmed by a spokesman for the U.S. Census Bureau, which saved about $1.87 billion on the 2010 Census.
(Thanks, Karl!)

To All The Jobs I've Loved Before... Redux

A year ago—and a year before that—I published one of my favorite posts ever, "To All The Jobs I've Loved Before," listing every piddling thing I've done for $$$. It's time for an update, because as of this month, I am a bona fide money-making blogger, cool cats. Yes, it only took 27 months, but those tiny little ads you see peeking through the side of The Smoking Nun earn meese a hot red cent for every so many visits to this blog. Hey, today alone, I netted 22 cents.

Payouts are only available when you accumulate $100+—and I have crossed that threshold, ahem, for the first time. At this rate, I'm going to be a blogger millionaire in only 136,845 years. Keep it coming, Google!

Meanwhile, I'm not sure if this is the most—or the least—appropriate time to mention that it was two years ago tomorrow, Feb. 25, 2009, that I was laid off from Billboard magazine. My reflections on that certainly merit their own post, wouldn't you say?

* Blogger "The Smoking Nun"/NYC (2008-present)
* Mystery Shopper for more than a dozen companies, including restaurants & bars, high-end department stores, A-grade hotels, furniture retailers, cell phone shops & electronics dealers, banks, storage facilities, hair-loss clinics, fast food and casual eateries, medical facilities, adult retailers, pizza delivery, bodegas & delis and movie theaters./NYC (2010-present)
* Crew Leader, the U.S. Census Bureau/Brooklyn, N.Y. (2010)
* Would-be author "Joyride" with Liz Derringer; and "In Front of the Iron Curtain," with Tinatin. Publication pending(?)/NYC (2009-present)
* Artist bios for Backstreet Boys, Jim Brickman, Oleta Adams, Weird Al, Jordin Sparks, Savage Garden & countless indie acts/NYC (2007-present)
* Licensed non-denominational minister, able to legally marry (straight) couples in NYC: two down and a third sched in August. (2010-present)
* Features editor/writer Radio & Records/NYC (2004-2009)
* Liner notes for Celine Dion, ‘N Sync, Time-Life compilations/NYC (2006-2008)
* Published songwriter, Young Pals Music/Brooklyn, N.Y. (2006-present)
* Freelance cover stories for NYC gay rag Next/NYC (2007-2008)
* Host, Billboard Radio online countdown/NYC (1999-2006)
* Tech columnist, Pro Audio Review magazine/Washington, D.C. (2001-2005)
* Writer, editor, columnist Billboard magazine/NYC (1995-2009)
* Editor Tuned In radio management/programming monthly/Washington, D.C. (1994-1995)
* Subscription card data processor IMAS/Washington, D.C. (1990)
* Stretch limousine driver/Washington, D.C. (1989)
* Wedding videographer/Washington, D.C. (1989-1993)
* Reporter TV Technology/Washington, D.C. (1990-1995)
* FCC reporter, columnist, tech editor, Radio World/Radio World International/Washington, D.C. (1988-1990)
* Editor-in-chief corporate real estate newsletters, Clark Construction Group/Bethesda, Md. (1988)
* Host, Dalts restaurant/Falls Church, Va. (1986-1988)
* Medical textbook proofreader/Arlington, Va. (1988)
* Reporter/section editor/researcher, Washington Business Journal/Arlington, Va. (1985-1988)
* Receptionist for ultra-right-wing think tank Capital Research Fund/Washington, D.C. (1985)
* Conference director for Georgetown University journalism programs/The Fund for American Studies/Washington, D.C. (1984-1985)
* Telemarketer for oceanfront condos in Florida/Alexandria, Va. (1984)
* College newspaper features editor, The Breeze/James Madison University/Harrisonburg, Va. (1983-1984)
* Editor Curio magazine/James Madison University/Harrisonburg, Va. (1984)
* Intern/reporter The News & Daily Advance/Lynchburg, Va. (1983-1984)
* DJ/country WWOD-AM & AC WKZZ-FM/Lynchburg, Va. (1980-1983)
* Subject for topical acne medication/Lynchburg, Va. (1979)
* Pizza cook/dishwasher, Pizza Inn/Lynchburg, Va. (1978-1980)
* Dog-sitter/Lynchburg, Va. (pre-1980)
* Lawn boy/Lynchburg, Va. (pre-1980)
* Drying dishes/cutting grass for weekly allowance/Lynchburg, Va. (pre-1980)

With the prospects for veteran journalists these days, I'm looking forward to exploring that career in dog-sitting again.

Thanks again to Snig’s Spot for this idea!

One Year Ago... The Census Came Calling

It was one year ago today that I got a call from the U.S. Census Bureau inviting me to the downtown Brooklyn "LCO 2226" office for training, after scoring 100% on the qualifying test—which was full of math and logic. Believe me, acing that was a gift from god.

It turns out that I was coming in late to the role I had been targeted for—thanks to another Crew Leader having freaked at the idea of knocking on doors. I didn't realize at the time that the Brooklyn staff had been sealed until his exit, allowing me to step in, as part of a training class of one.

Of course, as multiple posts on The Smoking Nun demonstrate, working for the Census Bureau turned out to be my ultimate blessing in 2010. Not only did it pluck me from the ranks of the unemployed after nearly a year—with my unemployment benes due to expire two weeks later—but the experience proved to be rewarding in so many ways.

I was no longer "Chuck Taylor the Billboard guy," now proving myself as just a dude, excelling on skill, charm and a positive attitude. I also appeared to be adept at training and teaching—to my surprise—and I picked up a couple real friends along the way, which was never a priority, since I viewed the experience as a blip in the realm of my life.

Most surprising, my time with the Census Bureau endured much longer than it was ever supposed to. I was lucky enough to bond with some powerful allies, who continually renewed me for one new initiative after another. When I began in February 2010, I was hiking overtop snow drifts. Five months later, I was trolling the same streets in a flop sweat amid the summer sun.

In all, I was employed by the Census for eight months, not only a financial savior, but one of the coolest, most randomly positive experiences of my adult life. Not a career, but a hell of a chapter a la post-print journalist. If nothing else, it gave me a hell of a lot to write about on these pages for the better part of a year.But more so, it fed my need for social interaction and adventure and it endeared me to Brooklyn, block by block, in a way that will serve me for the rest of my life. Turns out this little chapter really counted.

Census Says... U.S. Pop Is 308,745,538

The U.S. Census Bureau announced at year-end that the residential population of the United States on April 1, 2010, was... 308,745,538. That represents an increase of 9.7% from 2000, when the pop was 281,421,906.

And I helped!

The most populous state was California, the least populous Wyoming. The state that gained the most numerically since 2000 was Texas, while Nevada gained the most by percentage.

Census Report: Fringe Benefits

Among many unexpected gifts, my temp gig with the U.S. Census Bureau brought me a handful of fine folks that I hope to keep in my life even after the paychecks run out. Many of my upper-level co-workers are displaced somebodies who came from positions of prestige; in other words, they're fucking smart, personable, clever, fun individuals who, like me, were laid off amid a desperate economy.

Among the two most influential are Otwane and Deborah.Deborah and I met on my first day of training back in February. I was a class of one, with this fabulous diva sitting in for supplemental training to her supervisory position as the head of Census Recruiting. Within the first hour, we sniffed kinship and she became a touchstone for me, truly my kind of lady.
Otwane was my supervisor from the beginning, and took awfully good care of me. In fact, it's because of him that I persisted for six months-plus, while some of my capable co-workers either completed assignments or fell into the dreaded federal black hole, never again to be called upon by the Census.

Early on, Otwane mentioned he had Googled me—which, at the time, I found irritating. My mandate from the start was to remain anonymous: to do my job based on face value, with no shadow of the past. What it took me months to realize—because I, in turn, did not investigate Ot—is that he also came from the music biz, working with 50 Cent, Young Buck and other rappers, and—most fun—serving as co-writer of Salt-N-Pepa's 1993 top 5 smash "Shoop." He appears prominently in the music video as the rapper (he comes in at 3:03)—which cracks my shit up. I annoyed him to no end by taping a color still of him from the video onto my Census badge.
Then there's Zanne. We served as fellow Crew Leaders during the first operation, GQ (Group Quarters). One Sunday we were working at a senior facility, shuffling through a mountain of forms and I sat on the floor, crossed my legs and started parceling stacks. Apparently, Suzanne liked the down-home vibe; she looked me in the eyes and said, "I like you."

From then on, we spent as much Census time together as possible; she'd pick me up in her SUV just so we could drive to the office together. We aligned for a number of facilities—in particular a woman's shelter that was mind-blowing in the amount of heartbreak we witnessed during that 10-hour day. Those experiences bring people closer together, you know? I adore Zanne's tough veneer. She's a broad... with a heart. And now, bless my heart, she's my friend.Since, I've been to her home several times, met her man Ralph, cooked out on the deck and been to Costco together.Among co-workers, Dennis and Trien have been mainstays since we began GQ together... and all three of us got renewed again and again, thanks to Otwane's fine taste in sniffing out hard-working talent, eh? I think if I were to look back on my Verizon Wireless records, I'd have 10,000 texts between the three of us over the past six months. Good folks... and the only pics I have of them: Otwane and Dennis at Brooklyn's Green-Wood Cemetery; and Trien at Grand Army Plaza's main Brooklyn Library branch.Addendum!
On Thursday, a heap of "retiring" Census workers met at Union Hall in BK for a farewell gathering. At last, I can legally post pictures! First names only, mind youse.

Census kin: Otwane, meese & Dennis. Sadly, Trien couldn't make the farewell. We four were together for the seven months I endured at the gig.I was thrilled to see Deborah again, stylish as ever; she left the Census a couple months ago.The big guns: Harry, Irv and Otwane, three of the office chiefs.Denise, the head of our Local Census office, meese & Eunice.A gaggle of Census workers from our 2226 LCO.With Joan, a daily point of contact. Good lady.Karina, born and bred in Brooklyn with the accent to prove it; and Duwake.In February, the Census was a blessed means to an income. What a bonus: meeting people whose influence will be felt for a good long time.