Black Friday In Lynchburg, Va.... Nothing To It!

Ah, Black Friday, sweet Black Friday... There's nothing quite as satisfying as waiting in a line for five hours at Best Buy to save a whole $15 on a $1,200 55-inch Plasma TV or to be one of the first in the nation to grab a talking Tickle Me Dumbass at Toys R Us.

But as anyone who has ever accessed the Worldwide Webbie knows, almost anything one wants or needs is likely to be available online at the same cost, often with free shipping. Why, oh, why does anyone think it's fun or sporting to join such an absurd "tradition"? I just don't get it.

Here in Lynchburg, where I spent Thanksgiving, I ventured out to Walmart on Black Friday at 3 p.m. Mind you, local Walmarts opened at 8 p.m. Thanksgiving Thursday... so by the time I arrived, the joint was as empty as an average Monday morning.

Meanwhile, shopping is always a heavenly pursuit in Central Virginia, where bargains abound—and since I now travel by Amtrak, I can load up with cheap goods to take back to NYC without worrying about silly airline regs about liquid, weight and the rest of the bunk.

My stopovers: Kohl's (fab new sleeper britches for $10, Walgreens, Ollie's Emporium, Dollar General (more fab than the average low-rent "dollar store") and Bed Bath & Beyond. That's it... Over the course a week, I found all the practical items I could want at bargain prices. Oh, sweet heaven. In my world, you see, finding deodorant for half the price in NYC makes me mighty giddy.

And yet there were still hundreds of thousands of foolhardy grown-ups who bought into the hype that hitting the stores at dawn (or before) on Black Friday was a worthy pursuit. There were nearly 308 million store visits on Black Friday this year, a 3.5% increase from last year—but sales were down 1.8% to $11.2 billion, according to a ShopperTrak analysis.

Consider the following: A man in Massachusetts left his girlfriend’s 2-year-old son in the car while he went shopping for a new 51-inch TV. Store security saw the boy sleeping in the car, forced their way in, and took the tyke to the hospital as a precaution. When the dumbass returned to the car and saw the boy was gone, he panicked and called for another ride home. He's now facing reckless endangerment to a child charges. But boy, that HDTV is going to be beautiful... once he's out of jail.

Two men in San Antonio got into a fight at a Sears about line-cutting, as the alleged line-cutter punched another shopper. Someone then pulled a gun on the asswipe. Fortunately, the gun-toter had a concealed weapons license, so walked out free as a bird. Ain't that America something to see?!

In Maryland, a 14-year-old boy was robbed as he was leaving Bed Bath & Beyond after shopping post-midnight in a mall. The Baltimore Sun: "The suspects, who the boy described as (five) 17 to 21 wearing black North Face jackets and jeans..." Sure enough, as I've stated time and again, the scariest human beings on this earth are teen-agers.

Then there's the couple in Covington, Wash.,, who got run down by a 71-year old man in an SUV while heading into Walmart just after 8 p.m. The driver was arrested for vehicular assault, although it's suspected that he was loaded during the incident. Let's be honest: Getting drunk to shop on Black Friday sounds like a damn good idea to me. Lynchburg, Va.: Ain't nothing going on here but the rent.

VOTE Tuesday! Unless...

Tuesday is the all-important day that the United States continues on a positive path toward recovery... or turns the clock back on itself 40 years. Please vote... unless you're making the uninformed choice.

If you are a young person, a gay, a woman, a minority, earn less than $250,000 a year or have been impacted by severe weather anywhere anytime, there really is only one candidate. If he's not yours, please... just stay home and keep watching Fox News. *

Nanny State: NYC Mayor Bloomberg's Sugar Soda Ban Sails Through His Self-Appointed Dept. Of Health, Despite Massive Public Opposition

As if there were ever any doubt... The New York City Board of Health has approved a ban on the sale of sugar sodas in containers larger than 16 ounces at the city's restaurants, fast food joints, delis, arenas, movie theaters and even street food carts. The new law, which takes effect March 12, 2013, was championed by Nanny Michael Bloomberg, whose obsession as NYC's billionaire Mayor is stamping out civil rights and insuring that legislation supplants adults' rights to make their own choices.

Who cares about the city's 10% unemployment rate, folks' homes being repossessed or the fact that one in six New York state residents live in poverty... when there are fat people in the city?

The Board of Health's members are all appointed personally by the Mayor... with the vote a telling 8-0. Eliot Hoff with New Yorkers for Beverage Choices noted, "By imposing this ban, the board has shown no regard for public opinion or consequences to businesses." And once more, Bloomberg has created legislation attacking a 100% legal activity/choice. Any business that goes against the Nanny State will be fined $200.

U.S. News & World Report commented: "America has tried the experiment with prohibition before. It didn't work. That lesson seems to be lost on Bloomberg. Where will it end? The food police seem more intent on growing state authority than anything else. Depriving us of the right to make choices is the order of the day, in a sort of Orwellian fashion."

Meanwhile, a poll last week revealed 60% of New Yorkers believe the plan is crap.

This, of course, is Bloomberg's latest public policy destined to turn New York City into the land of the suppressed. Previous Nanny meddling includes: blocking sugar sodas from vending machines in schools and city-owned buildings (the NYC school chancellor vetoed that absurd referendum); a ban on smoking in city parks—uh, outdoors (which ludicrously includes Times Square); calorie counts on menus in chain restaurants, and eradication of trans-fats in city restaurants.

While the latter two are perhaps constructive, let's remember the legislation the Mayor attempted to steamroll through City Council that failed: massive tolls on the Brooklyn Bridge; his "National Salt Reduction Initiative," which attempted to mandate less sodium in restaurant receipes; and vulgar ads appearing on subways with images showing fat being poured from a soda can (they were banned by the city, along with Bloomie's call for foul visuals on cigarette packs showing amputated appendages and black lungs).

Unfortunately, there's more in store. Giddy with his latest success, Bloomie is twiddling his thumbs over the next invasion into personal privacy: He's pushing public hospitals to hide baby formula behind locked doors so that new mothers will breast feed. When will it end? Easy answer: The day this meddling bombastically egotistical man's third term comes to an end, in November 2013. I am counting the days. *

Editor's note: It's relevant to share that I have not had sugar soda in more than 25 years. This is about individual choices being legislated by a bored billionaire with too much power.

In One Night, DNC Rallies More Enthuse Than RNC Could In Three

What a difference a week makes. Watching the opening night of the Democratic National Convention Tuesday, with Michelle Obama as keynoter and San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro as her warm-up, a profound difference became apparent over the RNC last week: The Democrats gracefully defended the sitting President's heart & soul... with references to his "I've been there like you" struggle as a young middle-class working man... while Republicans Ann Romney and New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie spent the entire evening ripping President Barrack Obama to shreds—instead of building positive momentum for their candidate Mitt Romney.

Is it that obvious that Romney stands for next to nothing, has no solutions in his kitty to rebuild the tattered economy... Does his own party recognize he is merely a puppet standing in for a real leader, with few discernible ideas to move the nation forward? That's certainly how things came across.

For her part, Michelle Obama was one powerful speaker, compassionate and emotive, and she made a strong case for her husband as a man of conviction. The line of the night: "I have seen first-hand that being President doesn’t change who you are, it reveals who you are."

Likewise, the energy in the hall... what a difference. While Republicans maintained a low roar of distraction among themselves, the Democrats were riveted by the speakers at the podium: fired up that Obama's reelection is anything but a certainty. It's as if the G.O.P. was there to party, while the Democrats have a point to prove: four more years, please, so we don't reverse this nation into the Bush years... or worse.

I watched all three nights of the Republican convention with my life-long conservative parents in Virginia—and bit my lip over and again as misleading statements were uttered time after time... as if saying a lie enough times might somehow make it true. Come on, America—I pray to god—just isn't that stupid.

With night one of the DNC—as I read in one news story—the fact checkers were able to take the night off. No lies and fairy tales, no Republican bashing... just a glowing portrait of the man, the President, who needs four more years to carry out his mission. And how.

Mind you, the Democrats have a long way to go in defending the fact that the nation remains in shambles, unemployment has remained in the shitter for the past four years, and for sure, despite cheers and powerful words, Obama has done a pretty poor job of building the country's economy. But let's face it: Much of the blame falls on Republicans, who, behaving like spoiled babies, were damned determined to block Obama's every potential solution, simply because seeing the President fail meant more than protecting the lives of the voters who put these asswipes in office in the first place. I sure as hell hope that message comes across during the next three nights.

On the floor of the convention, Sandra Fluke—the Georgetown Law student that created a deserved scandal for dumbass Rush Limbaugh—spoke to an MSNBC correspondent, and stressed that social issues are not a sideline of the economy. Instead, they are part of the overall mission of America, and mesh together to build a strong nation. For sure, this is where Obama has demonstrated his mettle: protecting a woman's right to make choices about her body and... miraculously, not only backing gay marriage, but making it a black & white mandate of the party's written platform, which was even audaciously referred to several times Tuesday evening.

In any case, the race remains wickedly tight. I hope that Obama and his minions are able to make clear in the next three nights that even with so much more work to be done, the alternative—a Romney White House that will take America back some 30+ years—is more than just another dark age for the country. It's downright dangerous. *

Even The G.O.P. Loathes Romney: Charlie Crist Endorses Obama

When even members of the Republican party back away from support of contender Mitt Romney, you know this guy is the ultimate loser. Former Florida Republican Governor Charlie Crist has come out with a strong endorsement for Barack Obama. In an opinion piece for the Tampa Bay Times, he speaks out in favor of the current President, as Gawker reports.

"I'm confident President Barack Obama is the right leader for our state and the nation," Crist writes. "I applaud and share his vision of a future built by a strong and confident middle class in an economy that gives us the opportunity to reap prosperity through hard work and personal responsibility. It is a vision of the future proven right by our history."

Crist currently has no party affiliation, after shaking his hands clean of the Republican party in 2010. He acknowledges that the current party "has failed to demonstrate the kind of leadership or seriousness voters deserve."

With a G.O.P. platform that continues to pitch so far to the extreme right on issues essential to women, immigrants, seniors, students and gays, I'm amazed anyone in the United States truly believes Romney is going to set the economy straight and continue to move social issues into the 21st Century. Hmm, I suppose that just leaves embittered old white guys, right? *

The Republican Duh-genda: Paul Begala In 'Newsweek'

This is the smartest piece of political journalism I've read in weeks. Paul Begala's weekly column in Newsweek/The Daily Beast talks good sense about the Republican duh-genda (hey, I think I just coined a new phrase!). I've streamline it here, and recommend taking a look at the entire piece. Scary smart stuff. *

I have read several state-party [political] platforms so you won’t have to. They offer a road map to heaven or hell, depending on your party preference. I started in Texas—the most Republican big state in America. Every single statewide elected official is a Republican. Of the 150 members of the Texas House of Representatives, 101 are Republicans—and they’re hunting the other 49 down with dogs.

Texas Republicans hate the heavy hand of government. And so they oppose mandatory preschool and kindergarten, mandatory immunizations. It’s one thing to be anti-government. It’s another to be pro-stupid. Yet the Texas GOP actually opposes thinking. Seriously, their platform proudly declares: "We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills, critical-thinking skills, and similar programs." As Texas populist Jim Hightower likes to say, if ignorance is bliss, these are the happiest people on earth.

My Republican family and friends back home will say they just flat don’t want gubmint gettin’ all in your grill. Unless, of course, you’re gay. Or a woman seeking to choose to have an abortion. Then the government will not only be in your grill, it will be controlling your carburetor. For those keeping score at home, mandating a polio vaccine: tyranny. Mandating invasive ultrasound: freedom.

Predictably, Texas Republicans want a land without Social Security, without the United Nations, and without President Obama. But the 23-page platform has some truly random gems, like opposing the U.N. Convention on the Rights of the Child, which was negotiated and adopted under the presidencies of those dangerous radicals, Reagan and Bush.

On the economy, Texans proudly quote at great length from the GOP’s national platform—from 1932. I kid you not. These folks pine for the policies of Herbert Hoover. They want to repeal the minimum wage, abolish the Federal Reserve and return to the gold standard.

Lest you think this is just a Texas thing, let us check in with the progressive people of Minnesota. Their Republicans love our Constitution, but want to add an amendment declaring that life begins at conception and allowing men who impregnate women to have an equal say in what happens to the fetus. The platform is silent as to whether rapists would be so empowered.
 
The Minnesota GOP also supports teaching of "creation science" and opposes any teaching about sex—except abstinence. So how do you explain to Minneapolis high schoolers what then-GOP senator Larry Craig was doing in their airport men’s room? Like Texas, the Minnesota GOP wants to reinstate the ban on gays in the military. It will be a lot easier to root them out now that we’ve let them come out of the closet. Fiendishly clever, my Republican friends.

But aren’t the Democratic crazies just as crazy? No, actually. I reviewed the Democratic platforms of Vermont (which has a socialist senator), Massachusetts and Hawaii. None of them is as far left as some of the Republicans are right. No one is calling for the proletariat to own the means of production. No Democrat wants to nationalize the oil companies. They mostly repeat the standard center-left calls for gay rights and women’s rights, more health care and better schools.

I must admit I found the GOP platforms more entertaining. But then again I like Stephen King novels, too. The difference is Mr. King doesn’t try to enact his fevered fantasies into law.

Drought Devastating 26 U.S. States Is The Worst In History

Severe drought conditions are plaguing more than half of the United States, as record high temperatures are turning 26 states into a dustbowl, according to the Department of Agriculture. More than 1,000 counties have been designated a natural disaster area, as crops are destroyed across the nation, particularly in the Midwest. Nearly two-thirds of the nine-state region was in some stage of drought in the week ended July 10, up from 50% a week earlier.

The worst-hit areas are the lower Ohio Valley, southern Great Lakes and middle Mississippi Valley, where daily highs averaged 10 to 13 degrees above normal, with little to no rainfall.

Of course, the end result is that no one will be able to afford to eat ever again, with soybean, corn and grain prices hitting record-high prices. Ironically, because of the USDA’s disaster designation, farmers are not only cashing in by selling their scant crops for gold, but reaping federal aid. They must be jumping for joy. *

NYC Vintage Image: Photo Of The Day: ‘Stalked By Stork’ 1937

Times haven’t changed but so much between 1937 and 2012. Some 65 years ago, the U.S. was enduring a marked recession that lasted 13 months and catapulted unemployment from 14.3% in 1937 to 19.0% in 1938. Thankfully, in 2012, the national unemployment rate isn’t quite as dire—but it remains stagnant for a fifth dismal year.

On Friday June 15, the Labor Department reported that unemployment in May 2012 rose to 8.2% from 8.1% in April, the first increase in a year. In New York City, the May rate upticked from 9.5% to 9.7%.

That makes this vintage photograph from April 1937 all the more relevant. The 28-year-old unemployed Brooklyn resident is showing great ambition wearing a sandwich sign around his neck, proclaiming he’s “Stalked by Stork.” That, of course, means a baby is on the way. He’s looking for work in advertising, sales promotion, contract publicity and the like.

After digging down deep into the Internet, I found “A Woman’s New York” column written by Alice Hughes on April 13, 1937. She reports: "New York’s sidewalks are filled with ladies and gentlemen carrying signs. They may advertise a cheap beauty parlor or they may announce that the bearer, an American citizen, spent 10 months in a German prison and is very mad about it. But I met my favorite the other day. A young man was wearing a ‘sandwich’ which read, in part, ‘Stalked by Stork. I want work now!’ The gallant young man carried his sign and (walked) out of my life, but I certainly hope he got a job, don’t you? That ‘Stalked By Stork’ is a punch line if ever there was one.’" *

Taco Bell Now Aims To Make You Ill In The Morning, Too

Taco Bell, which arguably offers the most disgusting fast food fare among any national chain, is aiming to nauseate customers morning, noon and night. The faux Mexican-style joint introduced a breakfast menu last week at nearly 800 restaurants in 14 states.

So far the menu comprises an innocent enough selection of breakfast burritos stuffed with eggs and either sausage, bacon or "steak"; sausage & egg wraps; hash browns; hot or iced coffee; and OJ.... But, of course, it will still smell like Taco Bell, right? Oh, my, I think I just spit up a little...

So far, the breakfast experiment is taking place at Taco Bell locations in Alaska, Washington, Oregon, California, Arizona, Idaho, Montana, Utah, New Mexico, Nevada and Colorado, with a handful in Texas, Ohio and Oklahoma. Okay, I've done my part... you've been warned. *

Bleeker Bob's: Another Beloved NYC Indie Record Stores Bites It

Another one bites the dust. The New York Times reported over the weekend that longtime indie record store, Bleecker Bob’s Golden Oldies in the West Village, one of a scant few remaining in New York City, is shuttering.

Bleecker Bob’s will close its store at 118 West Third Street at the end of April, according to manager Chris Wiedener.

The store, which opened as Village Oldies Records in 1968, had been able to stay alive because of leased space in the back, including a tattoo parlor, which helped pay the rent. The last subtenant was a comic book store, which closed in 2008.

Of course, within the past several years, we've lost Tower Records and both the Times Square and Union Square locations of Virgin Records. Among the last of its kind remaining, as far as I know: the long-lived Colony Records on Broadway at 49th Street; and the cool Rebel Rebel, also on Bleeker Street in the West Village. I stopped by the latter on Sunday, just to pay respects. *