People Mag Announces 2013 Annual 'Sexiest Man Alive'... Huh?!

And the Sexiest Man Alive for 2013, according to People mag is... Adam Levine? Say what? Huh? Really? Um... ha ha ha, NO!

Among its other oddball picks: Jimmy Fallon, Idris Elba, "I never ever smile" Justin Timberlake and Pharrell Williams.Who the hell judged this thing? A posse of hungry housewives who watch TV all day? One things's for sure: It wasn't a gay man in da know.

Meanwhile, the man who should have won—Chris Pine—is at least among the dozen featured online (the No. 3 Smoking Nun runner-up for Sexiest Man Alive in 2010)... alongside Justin Theroux, Luke Bryan, Bruno Mars and David Beckham.

The issue landed delicately on newsstands November 22, with giant question marks radiating into the heavens. *People mag Top Men finalists for 2013... Below, a pretty awesome piece from the issue on John Stamos, featuring his "Portrait of Dorian Gray." Mighty clever.

Could William Levy Be William Grey In 'Fifty Shades Of Grey'?

Following his star-making turn in reality show Dancing With The Stars, it's time for William Levy to make his next major move. If he truly wants to transition to the big screen as a potential Hollywood A-lister, time's ticking, baby. His recent turn in VH1's Single Ladies was a sweet distraction, but isn't going to propel him any further.

I'm still steamed that in August, Will turned down the role of a lifetime in Steven Soderbergh's Magic Mike, which has turned into a smash flick, and certainly would have amped his exposure to a mainstream American audience.

So how about this? Erotic romance trilogy Fifty Shades of Grey by British author E. L. James has become the talk of Tinseltown. The book has supplanted Hunger Games on the New York Times Bestseller List, sold 20 million copies worldwide with movie rights secured by Universal Pictures. Names are being tossed about to play the lead roles of Christan Grey (& Anastasia Steele), including Max Irons, Matt Bomer, Chris Pine, Kellan Lutz, Alex Pettyfer, Ryan Gosling and Henry Cavill. There is also a grass-roots effort to bring Levy's attention to producers, including a Facebook page dedicated to casting Will.

The character of Christian Grey possesses model good looks, he's a dashing billionaire with limitless power, humor and and a beseeching dark side. Most of all, he's a sexual dynamo. Sounds like Will to me, cool cats. While casting is still years away, online petitions and swoon-worthy discussions are blanketing the web with suggestions of the ideal Grey.

According to webbie Penguincookies, "William Levy would be the unconventional choice to play Christian Grey. The man embodies the definition of good looking. William has the height, body and sultry eyes, and this role may be his ticket to stardom in the States. The movie just may profit from the millions of ladies that already swoon over him."

Time will tell, although to be honest, Levy is already Grey in our little world, as the Sexiest Man Alive. *

EXCLUSIVE: 'Men's Fitness' Blazing Hot 2011 MF25

Before the June/July 2011 issue even hits the newsstands Monday, May 16, The Smoking Nun has the annual Men's Fitness MF25, its take on the "World's Fittest Guys." Ah, cool cats, don't mention it; my pleasure, indeed.

Cover man Vin Diesel is a nice way to get the party started, but inside is pure delight, with Chris Evans, Bradley Cooper, Kellan Lutz and Alex O'Loughlin in full-page splendor. Other highlights after the jump include Nick Ferroni (pictured above, between David Beckham and Kellan Lutz), True Blood's Joe Manganiello and Chris Pine. And a few WTFs: Liam Neeson? Joel McHale? Billionaire Lorenzo Fertitta?

What a way to jump-start a dreary, rainy Sunday.

Chris Pine & Zachary Quinto: Slash Fiction

Slash fiction is a naughty genre of literature that depicts romantic or sexual relationships between science fiction characters of the same sex.

Typically, it unites popular TV characters like "Star Trek's" Captain Kirk and Spock; or Jim West and Artemis Gordon of "Wild Wild West." "X-Files," "Stargate," Harry Potter and "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" are also wildly popular.

Recently, this fake pic of a loving Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto from "Stark Trek" has been making the rounds on the web. Fascinatingly real and dazzlingly sexy. Wouldn't you to love to believe it's true?

2010: The Most Beautiful Man Alive

Really, there was little question that Rodiney Santiago would be named The Smoking Nun's Most Beautiful Man Alive for 2010. He is pistol packing every variable on my homo checklist: dark eyes, full lips, beautiful teeth, dreamy bod that could make a washcloth look like a designer garment—and a sweet, humble demeanor that makes Logo's "The A List" worth at least fast forwarding through. You just want to hug the dude... and go from there.2010's Runner Up: William Levy!Hottie No. 3: Chris Pine!No. 4: Kellan Lutz!And No. 5: James Franco!

Chris Pine: The Total 'Package'

How is it possible that Chris Pine continues to get hotter, when he started out stunning? The actor graces the cover of Details mag, out Oct. 19, and stars in the thriller "Unstoppable," which hits theaters in November.

"G.I. Joe": Some Advice

I rented “G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra” from Netflix tonight and thought I might offer some friendly advice for the next action adventure film:

• When casting a lead actor to portray an action hero, it is helpful to find a young man who is attractive and even better, sexy (say, Chris Pine). Channing Tatum, as “Duke,” has a nice chest and torso—which we hardly see—but the fact that his ears look like pterodactyl wings, his eyes are a half-inch apart, his lips resemble Meg Ryan’s, and there is nothing discernibly magnetic about his onscreen presence had me looking for the lead of the movie for a good 15 minutes. When I realized it was him, I knew I was in for a long ride.

• Also speaking of the lead actor, it is of benefit when a white man speaks standard American English. If I had dark sunglasses on, I’d have thought Eminem—or some other African-American-mimicking punk—was playing the part.

• “Tough girls who don’t have a speck of femininity” roles have become a bit tattered. Unless you plan to cast Hilary Swank, the ultimate man-woman, it’s better to write your women as a foil to male characters—not to make their balls so big that you don’t even consider that they have breasts. Sienna Miller’s next big break: “The L Word”?

• Fire and explosions are great fun. But it’s also cool to wrap them around a plot. You know, a goal. Something that happens. Point A to B.

• Movies named after a familiar brand should bare some semblance to the franchise. Hasbro’s G.I. Joe was a macho soldier. The movie uses G.I. Joe to describe a military operative. What the fuck does that mean? Ultimately, the lead was a pussy who dressed like a mama’s boy in tight shirts. The film should have been titled “C.G.I. Joe.” It looks faker than “Star Wars” in 1977.

• Dennis Quaid: Please apologize to your fans. Marlon Wayans, congratulations for being paid far beyond your skill level.

Fashion Watch

FASHION DO'S!
"Gossip Girl's" Penn Badgley is growing nicely from boyhood pin-up to man. Meese likey the longer hair. Now, if only I could bear the show.Hero du jour Chris Pine wears it well in GQ's June summer fashion spread. Damn, I used to be that lean, too. Hold onto it as long as you can, dude.Two more impossibly sexy pics from GQ's June retro swimwear photo spread with the delicious footballer Mark Sanchez.
FASHION DON'TS!
If the persistently gruesome Maggie Gyllenhaal was cast in "Nanny McPhee and the Big Bang" as a buck-toothed bag-lady frump, an Oscar can't be far off. She nailed it!YAWWWWWWWN!! Oh, look, it's a 50-year old's nipples and kooty-crotch. I am sooooooo utterly shocked!

Evergreen Pine

At last, Chris Pine showing off all assets.