Happy Holidays! A Stony Point Christmas

Last weekend a posse of pals headed to Rockland County, N.Y., for my dear friend Donna's annual family Christmas party in Stony Point, N.Y. In attendance: Leo, Christa, Jenn, Patty & Tina, Donna's fab parents Elsie & Frank, her man Ty, and dozens and dozens of Italian relatives.

I felt like I was in a combo of Bloomingdale's decorated for the holidays, the "Godfather" set and a hot porn movie. Much testosterone among the clan!

Good thing it was a warm and wondrous occasion, because getting there took some effort: subway to a Port Authority bus to a New Jersey Transit train to a car to their beautiful home... We actually spent the night at the Howard Johnson's (who knew the hotel chain still existed?!) in Suffern, N.Y., and took the train home the next day.

This is as close to a Christmas celebration as I'll have this year. Good to spend it with extended family. Happy holidays! *

Five Decades Od Decadence @ Fontana's NYC

On Friday, September 28, I celebrated my humble lil' birthday that ended with a "0" with a grand celebration at Fontana's Bar on New York's Lower East Side. Man, these pics are less than comprehensive. Unfortunately, some guests appear in no pics, while other images were so dark that I had to do major digital enhancing.

Likewise, sigh... many that promised to show up... simply didn't. Par for the course, as we all recognize, and so I shall revel in the good and positive, and understand that you've got to dismiss regrets and be grown up enough to accept that some folks you thought were by your side for the long term have, in fact, turned a page. And so shall I. Such is life. So now, let's make a joyful noise for the wondrous celebration that ensued. *

Guest Spot #4 On Elizabeth Kelley's 'Celebrity Court Radio'

For the fourth time, I had some good clean fun as a guest talking head on attorney Elizabeth Kelley's "Celebrity Court Radio." The link for playback is here; I start talking smack around the 21-minute mark, through the end of the 30-minute show.

Today's topics: First, egregious emails obtained by The Los Angeles Times regarding the state of Michael Jackson's health during prep for his ill-fated 50-show "This Is It" concert run at London’s O2 arena.

The show's insurers are asking a judge to nullify a $17.5 million policy they say AEG got with false claims about Jackson's health and readiness to perform, along with a wrongful-death suit by Jackson's heirs that accuses AEG of pressuring MJ to carry on despite indications he was too weak.

In more than 250 pages of emails, AEG Live CEO Randy Phillips wrote to AEG President/CEO Tim Leiweke, such things as "MJ is locked in his room drunk and despondent" and "He is an emotionally paralyzed mess riddled with self loathing and doubt now that it is show time." Ouch!

As I said to Kelley, "I don't know when Michael Jackson is ever going to be able to rest in peace," especially when the family is engaged in its own ugly battles... much less those against doctors, concert promoters and insurers. Can't they all just get along? Clearly, the answer is an emphatic NO!

Topic two: Sheryl Crow, who was once engaged to cyclist Lance Armstrong, was called upon by federal investigators into the doping scandal that stripped him of multiple titles last month. Unfortunately, not a word on what she may have revealed. *

Quote: 'When Memories Become More Important Than Dreams'

Of all places, I heard the following quote in the Series Finale of Desperate Housewives, which has been sitting in my Tivo for months. It so struck a chord with me that I paused, played it again and scrawled it down... It's not pretty, by my god, it is truth. And I get it. Totally.

"You know you've hit middle age when memories become more important than your dreams."

It took me back to my first months in New York, when I had just arrived for my dream job at Billboard magazine in the fall of 1996. Such hope, such ambition... and for sure, every dream that I dared imagine for that job—which ultimately blossomed into a 14-year career—came blissfully true.

In the winter of 1996, January or February, I made a music video set to Collective Soul's "The World I Know," shot around my tiny, adorable, beloved studio apartment on the Upper West Side at 82nd & Broadway. Below is a trio of screen shots from the vid. I have a DVD that I managed to transfer from VHS years ago, but I have yet to figure out how the hell to load it to YouTube so that I might share it—and protect it. It is indeed a treasured memory... of my dreams. *

Civil Servant: My Day Of Serving Jury Duty

On Wednesday, I was called to offer due diligence as a civil servant of Kings County, N.Y.—for jury duty. This marks the third time I've been beckoned for the joyful task... once in the 1990s in Manhattan when I lived in Tribeca, and six or so years ago here in Brooklyn. In both cases, I was never so much as interviewed to be on a jury.

But this time was a little different. I came within a hyena's hair of being selected for a litigation trial that begins July 10. (Fortunately), it appears my big mouth and tendency to have an opinion about any & all likely kept me from duty.

I arrived at the Kings County Courthouse on Adams Street in Brooklyn Heights at 8:30 a.m., and joined at least 400 others in a large auditorium, which was actually quite modern, offering free wireless access and comfortable seating. After watching the requisite film about how important jury duty is blah blah, a gentleman explained the lay of the day. We were expected to sit until 5 p.m., waiting to be called for potential jury service by any number of trial attorneys.

If our name was called and we weren't present, we were punished by returning to the jury pool again. If we left before 5 p.m. or were late returning from lunch, shit outta luck.

I sat from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. and scratched my butt, as dozens & dozens were called out... Finally, around 3:30 p.m., my name was called and I joined about 25 others in "Room 5." We sat in the sterile gray square box, as two attorneys representing opposing sides explained that they were involved in a litigation trial for personal injuries. Attorney 1 represented Plaintiff X, who had been "injured." Attorney 2 represented Port Authority, which oversees transportation between New York and New Jersey.

The case, which has been treading water for 4-1/2 years, would now go to trial to decide if the woman deserves a big-ass cash settlement from Port Authority, or whether she had either lied or exaggerated the extent of her injuries, and would thus receive nada.

All of us filled out one-sheet questionnaires, asking about education, the neighborhood you live in, where you were born, career, hobbies and whether you've been the victim of a crime, been convicted, served on a trial previously, work as a doctor, lawyer or in the insurance biz...

First, among the 25 or so of us, about 6 or 7 alleged they'd be on vacation and out of town when the trial is scheduled in July. While they thought they were clever enough to dodge duty, the attorneys then let them know they'd probably go back in the pool and their Wednesday duty wouldn't count on the books (oh, har har!).

From there, six of us were called to the front row to be grilled for 30+ minutes about our opinions regarding litigation cases. Yup, I was among them. One of the questions: "Do you feel like we are an over-litigated society?" That's when my gums started flapping. I said that I believe many New Yorkers actually hope they might trip on a sidewalk crack so they can sue the city: "People stump their toe and start sniffing for money." I also noted that every morning I hear ads on the radio for lawyers fishing for folks that have been injured, promising lucrative settlements.

The grilling continued, asking whether we had prejudice against folks with foreign accents, knowledge of the McDonald's hot coffee-granny case, whether we read the news media... on and on... We then took a break, returned and the attorneys informed us that the 15 or so who (were not taking vacation during the trial and) had been sitting quietly behind the in the front row were all dismissed... And that among we six that had been interviewed, four had been selected to be on the jury (among what will ultimately be a total of six jurors and two alternates).

The first name called was a barely audible painfully shy guy of Asian descent... Second was a barely audible shy young white American woman. Then a very intelligent, college-educated former Wall Street black woman from Barbados... And then (deep breath)... a well-spoken black 20-something American guy. The two omitted: ME and a woman who worked for the criminal justice system and had served as a witness in several trials.

With that, my duty was done and I returned to the auditorium to wait another 15-20 minutes until we were  released at 4:30 p.m. As I walked into the beautiful sunny late afternoon with my "Juror's Proof of Service Certification," good for eight years, I felt pretty invigorated. I soaked up an experience that is certainly far from any ordinary day. And I had done my duty, come out clean on the other side and now don't have to give this another thought until 2020.

I figure by then I'll be twice as opinionated... or barely capable of remembering my name or how to tie my shoes and zip my britches... so that no attorney would give me a second glance. Right? *

Only In New York: The 11th-Annual 'No Pants Subway Ride' Day

Last Sunday, New Yorkers hosted the 11th-annual No Pants Subway Ride, created by a group called Improv Everywhere. The idea: all afternoon, board mass transit in your skivvies. Undergarments were required, mind you.

Participants spread out over six meeting points and 10 subway lines during the mild 44-degree day, with more than 4,000 taking part in the frolick fest. Now that's my kind of ride.

The No Pants phenomenon has since been copied in 59 cities in 27 countries around the world... because as we all know: If it's worth doing, it probably started in New York City. (Photos: Improv Everywhere, Google, Flickr)

On This Day | September 15 | 'USA Today' Premieres

On Sept. 15, 1982, the media industry was forever smacked upside the head with the launch of daily general interest national newspaper USA Today. Founded by Gannett CEO Al Neuharth, it immediately stood out for bold, colorful graphics, polls and photographs; brief stories; and a focus on celebrity and sports.

Early reactions to the innovative read were snarky, mocking it as a shallow "McPaper, the journalistic equivalent of fast food," because of its brevity, cartoon-like appearance and color photos.

Popular legend claims that USA Today was designed as an antidote to somber Watergate-era press (led by The Washington Post and New York Times): to offer a daily read that entertained and soothed instead of slapping readers with the horrors of the world.

From the beginning, the paper was divided into four sections, as it still is: News, Money, Sports & Life. Its debut lead story focused on the death of Grace Kelly.

It is reported that the newspaper did not turn a profit until 1993 and survived for the ensuing 11 years only because it was supported by huge injections of capital from Gannett, under Neuharth's leadership. Today, it is the No. 2 daily, behind The Wall Street Journal, with a daily readership of 3.2 million readers and paid circ of 1.8 million. The newsstand price is a lofty $1.