Saturday, December 27, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
The Only Man Working In All Of NYC
Sure enough, I am the only human being sitting in an office cubicle in New York City today. So glad that I am on the job to report all of that essential breaking news on the company's Web site.
Oh, wait, it's half past the hour. Time for me to scratch my butt again.
The Long & Twisted Road... With Mariah
What a storied history I have with Mariah Carey. In 13 years at Billboard, only a handful of anecdotes bear repeating... when Vanessa Williams proved face to face to be the bitch she now deliciously plays on "Ugly Betty"; when Clive Davis came after me, knives sharpened, for dissing Rod Stewart and Justin Timberlake (complete with a hand-signed letter that hangs at home); and digs at Mariah, actually credited, in part, for her temporary insanity in the New York Post. (click right, below)
In another time, Billboard indulged single reviews that were less than complementary. As singles reviews editor since 1998, my reputation was forged on delicious venom: If I loved a song, you got the sweetest embrace, but established artists that took a misstep were demonized. When Mariah flip-flopped to hip-hop, I responded with several less-than-flattering reviews.
Meanwhile, Mariah was the first artist I had the pleasure of meeting when I started at Billboard. Around Thanksgiving 1995, my Billboard muse Larry Flick took me to her Madison Square Garden TV special taping, where we met her. It was magic.
The photo below really tells the story here. After so many unkind reviews, Ayhan and I attended a Z100 concert and, with all-access credentials, squeezed into Mariah's dressing room—and eek, there she was with some guy named Randy Jackson, who, of course, is now the renowned "American Idol" judge. Mariah comes forth, I introduce myself and she announces, "I know who you are." Pause. I say, "Are you gonna hit me?" She laughs, and I launch into a diatribe about my reviews that, to this day, I'm convinced was inspired by angels. I say something to the effect of, "You know, I have followed your career since the beginning, so when you disappoint, I hold you to the highest standard. I expect nothing but the best, given what I know you're able to achieve." I meant it, too.
Her response: "Really? Oh, thank you," with total sweetness." Then we posed for the pic here... After this, I found it pretty much impossible to ever again write a negative word, given Mariah's humility. Fortunately, she came back with "We Belong Together," rediscovering melody, making my job much easier...Now Sony has released "Mariah Carey: The Ballads" (above. left), an album I adore... Ah, the memories... the good times... the '90s... and then the third meeting with Lady M, with Kristina in 2007. Amen!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Christmas Din Din
Top: Three and a half hours for a Christmas feast... No, it was nothing, really.
Above, left: Kirby's Christmas feast from Trader Joe's. Mmm, lamb & rice!
Above, right: Ayhan glassy-eyed post-feast, as we relish our Christmas Day marathon, the first season of "30 Rock." Okay, Tina Fey's Liz Lemon just randomly sang from "Annie." God, this show is the new "Arrested Development"! Loving it.
Left: The Christmas menu.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Cowboy Christmas
Greetings from Village People cowboy Randy Jones and his longtime partner Will Grega!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Unadulterated Terror
Let's see, I believe it was 12 weeks ago when I was calmly watching a fabulous SciFi Channel movie about earthquakes destroying all of North America when our beloved 50-inch plasma TV spontaneously went ø¤º°`°º¤øCLICK!ø¤º°`°º¤ø. The end. After less than two years, Pioneer unceremoniously fucked our $2,000 promise in technology.
The road has been long, but rising above the bitterness, at long last, we received a cash payment to "replace" the piece of shit that was essentially un-repairable. Thank you Pioneer! Never again!In the meantime, we were without a television for more than two months. I watched election results on the laptop, we depended on hulu.com for moving entertainment, and did our best to keep up with "Desperate Housewives" on ABC.com. It wasn't an awful lot of fun.
Being a fierce warrior of online pricing, I narrowed our choices down—Panasonic was the absolute only viable option—and I managed to find the deal of the year on buydigg.com... a 50-inch plasma for $939, no shipping/no tax. So our new baby arrived today... and now Ayhan and I are terrified of it. I've been home for four hours and have yet to touch it or turn it on. Instead, I'm listening to Christmas tunes on the laptop here. We're scarred for life, cool cats. Turning it on, much less, trying to connect it to our beloved Tivo... it's all too much... 
Hopefully the manual—if we can actually find the English-language section—will lead us to the promised 
land. All I know is that the sweet little 20-inch Sylvania LCD I bought at K-Mart for $200 on Black Saturday post-Thanksgving, while a treasure, is fatiguing, given that I have to actually wear my reading glasses to see the screen.Bless us each and every one. May the goodness of the season allow us trust to plug and play. Um, stay tuned...
A Perfect Gift For The South Carolinians In Your Life!
Here's a gift for all those folks that you really don't like a lot—The 2009 Sarah Palin calendar!!! And it's already 15% off from its original list price of $15.95, before the post-Christmas sales! This is for real! Would I use this many exclamation marks if I didn't mean it?! Only problem with this present: No good for re-gifting... but at least it's a once-in-a-lifetime offer. Imagine a 2010 Sarah Palin calendar? Hahahahaha, oh, I'm killing myself.
The photog is Judy Patrick, who is not only "an Alaskan photographer," but also served as vice mayor during the Palin administration in Wasilla, Ala. Now that is a multi-tasker, I tell ya.
Sorry, not going to tell where ya can actually buy this crap. That would be just plain un-American.
Southern Comfort
Thank God for Sam's Club's eyewear two-for-one special, y'all! While Papa Spears has kept Brit Brit on a tight leash, sadly, Jayden James and Sean Preston are still being reared by their mamer.
You can take the trash to the curb, but you can never quite get rid of the smell of the trailer.
Bless her heart.
Billboard 2008 Critic's Picks
CHUCK TAYLOR, Senior Correspondent/Pop, Single Reviews Editor
(Click on link to see all Billboard staff picks)
1. Lucy Woodward, “Lucy Woodward Is Hot & Bothered” (Barnes & Noble). Penultimate disc of 2008. One-stop shopping for pop, soul & jazz; mirth, elegance & sensuality; across-the-board melodic idealism. 
2. Jon McLaughlin, “Beating My Heart” (Island). All the joy that music conjures is captured in this uptempo pop pearl. Single of the year. He’s right handsome, too.
3. Leona Lewis “Spirit” (Syco/Sony). A global debut that stands alongside Whitney, Mariah, Celine. Vocal perfection, pistol-packing songs, ace production. 
4. Delta Goodrem, Five-star live performance of 2008 at New York’s Canal Room April 15, accompanying CD “Delta” (Decca/Mercury), as the millennial Olivia Newton-John finally reaches the States. 
5. Sarah McLachlan, “Ordinary Miracle” (Nettwerk/Arista). Kids, don’t mess with the master. Fragile, angelic, handsome, smart.
6. Adele, “Chasing Pavements” (Columbia). Among so many trendy old-soul vocalists, a talent for all time. Jaw-dropping intensity.
7. Celine Dion, “This Time” (Columbia). The world’s greatest singer’s most poignant moment from “Taking Chances.” A shame that Sony was asleep at the wheel.
8. Danity Kane, “Damaged” (Bad Boy/Atlantic). With apologies to the almighty Rihanna’s “Don’t Stop the Music,” the jam of the year.
9. Sarah Brightman f/ Paul Stanley, “I Will Be with You” (Manhattan). Volcanic bravado to absurd excess. Ain’t it grand?10. iPod essentials: Matt Zarley, “Here I Am” EP (mattzarley.com), Val Emmich, “Get On With It” (No Code); Ryan Cabrera, “Say” (Papa Joe); I-Nine, “If This Room Could Move” (Ten Star/J); Ace Young, “Addicted” (acemusic.com); Idina Menzel, “Brave” (Reprise); Daughtry, “Feels Like Tonight” (19/RCA).
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