Who knew? A pound of yummy Butt Paste. I guess that's one way to keep diapers clean: just keep those little buns glued tight! Har, har, oh, shit, that's funny.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Let's Get To The Bottom Of This
Who knew? A pound of yummy Butt Paste. I guess that's one way to keep diapers clean: just keep those little buns glued tight! Har, har, oh, shit, that's funny.
Frequent Flier: Fringe Benefits
Who said flying is no fun anymore? I assume Larry Craig is already well aware of this.
(Thanks, Darren!)
(Thanks, Darren!)
"Liquor and Knives Make Everything Nize"
Last weekend while I was in Southampton for Leo's art gallery opening, our baby Maltese Kirby's godparents' Patrick & Tina were making their own artistic statement while staying 
at our place in Brooklyn Heights: "Liquor and Knives Make Everything Nize," starring his sexy friends Heather Allison and Grant Newton, is "impressive," says experienced art dealer/aficionado Leonard.
Patty took these photographs with a Sony Alpha 500 digital SLR, using a 20mm 1.8f wide angle. Amazingly, all picolas are taken using existing light—no double exposures to be had.
There's a definite storyline here, somewhere between "Fame" and "Sid & Nancy."
at our place in Brooklyn Heights: "Liquor and Knives Make Everything Nize," starring his sexy friends Heather Allison and Grant Newton, is "impressive," says experienced art dealer/aficionado Leonard.Patty took these photographs with a Sony Alpha 500 digital SLR, using a 20mm 1.8f wide angle. Amazingly, all picolas are taken using existing light—no double exposures to be had.
There's a definite storyline here, somewhere between "Fame" and "Sid & Nancy."
Friday, August 27, 2010
Slow News Week Or What?
What the fuck? In 2010, this is the best music story that Rolling Stone can muster? And then Yahoo! treats it as a "front page" general interest item? My god, I think I'd rather read about Justin Bieber growing his first whisker than another warmed-over tally about the oh-so-great-they're-immortal-even-though-their-greatest-claim-to-fame-is-brilliant-producer-George Martin-who-molded-them-from-rockabilly-beatniks-into Beatles. Amen.
Want a real worthwhile read? Try this: How to make Monopoly more fun. It recommends turning the Utilities into fifth and sixth railroads; making up your own Chance and Community Chest cards; and more. Now that's a blast.
Census Report: Fringe Benefits
Among many unexpected gifts, my temp gig with the U.S. Census Bureau brought me a handful of 
fine folks that I hope to keep in my life even after the paychecks run out. Many of my upper-level co-workers are displaced somebodies who came from positions of prestige; in other words, they're fucking smart, personable, clever, fun individuals who, like me, were laid off amid a desperate economy.
Among the two most influential are Otwane and Deborah.
Deborah and I met on my first day of training back in February. I was a class of one, with this fabulous diva sitting in for supplemental training to her supervisory position as the head of Census Recruiting. Within the first hour, we sniffed kinship and she became a touchstone for me, truly my kind of lady.
Otwane was my supervisor from the beginning, and took awfully good care of me. In fact, it's because of him that I persisted for six months-plus, while some of 
my capable co-workers either completed assignments or fell into the dreaded federal black hole, never again to be called upon by the Census.
Early on, Otwane mentioned he had Googled me—which, at the time, I found irritating. My mandate from the start was to remain anonymous: to do my job based on face value, with no shadow of the past. What it took me months to realize—because I, in turn,
did not investigate Ot—is that he also came from the music biz, working with 50 Cent, Young Buck and other rappers, and—most fun—serving as co-writer of Salt-N-Pepa's 1993 top 5 smash "Shoop." He appears prominently in the music video as the rapper (he comes in at 3:03)—which cracks my shit up. I annoyed him to no end by taping a color still of him from the video onto my Census badge.
Then there's Zanne. We served as fellow Crew Leaders during the first operation, GQ (Group Quarters). One Sunday we were working at a senior facility, shuffling through a mountain of forms and I sat on the floor, crossed my legs and started parceling stacks. Apparently, Suzanne liked the down-home vibe; she looked me in the eyes and
said, "I like you."
From then on, we spent as much Census time together as possible; she'd pick me up in her SUV just so we could drive to the office together. We aligned for a number of facilities—in particular a woman's shelter that was mind-blowing in the amount of heartbreak we witnessed during that 10-hour day. Those experiences bring people closer together, you know? I adore Zanne's tough veneer. She's a broad... with a heart. And now, bless my heart, she's my friend.
Since, I've been to her home several times, met her man Ralph, cooked out on the deck and been to Costco together.
Among co-workers, Dennis and Trien have been mainstays since we began GQ together... and all three of us got renewed again and again, thanks to Otwane's fine taste in sniffing out hard-working talent, eh? I think if I were to look back on my Verizon Wireless records, I'd have 10,000 texts between the three of us over the past six months. Good folks... and the only pics I have of them: Otwane and Dennis at Brooklyn's Green-Wood Cemetery; and Trien at Grand Army Plaza's main Brooklyn Library branch.
Addendum!
On Thursday, a heap of "retiring" Census workers met at Union Hall in BK for a farewell gathering. At last, I can legally post pictures! First names only, mind youse.
Census kin: Otwane, meese & Dennis. Sadly, Trien couldn't make the farewell. We four were together for the seven months I endured at the gig.
I was thrilled to see Deborah again, stylish as ever; she left the Census a couple months ago.
The big guns: Harry, Irv and Otwane, three of the office chiefs.
Denise, the head of our Local Census office, meese & Eunice.
A gaggle of Census workers from our 2226 LCO.
With Joan, a daily point of contact. Good lady.
Karina, born and bred in Brooklyn with the accent to prove it; and Duwake.
In February, the Census was a blessed means to an income. What a bonus: meeting people whose influence will be felt for a good long time.
fine folks that I hope to keep in my life even after the paychecks run out. Many of my upper-level co-workers are displaced somebodies who came from positions of prestige; in other words, they're fucking smart, personable, clever, fun individuals who, like me, were laid off amid a desperate economy.Among the two most influential are Otwane and Deborah.
Deborah and I met on my first day of training back in February. I was a class of one, with this fabulous diva sitting in for supplemental training to her supervisory position as the head of Census Recruiting. Within the first hour, we sniffed kinship and she became a touchstone for me, truly my kind of lady.
Otwane was my supervisor from the beginning, and took awfully good care of me. In fact, it's because of him that I persisted for six months-plus, while some of 
my capable co-workers either completed assignments or fell into the dreaded federal black hole, never again to be called upon by the Census.Early on, Otwane mentioned he had Googled me—which, at the time, I found irritating. My mandate from the start was to remain anonymous: to do my job based on face value, with no shadow of the past. What it took me months to realize—because I, in turn,
did not investigate Ot—is that he also came from the music biz, working with 50 Cent, Young Buck and other rappers, and—most fun—serving as co-writer of Salt-N-Pepa's 1993 top 5 smash "Shoop." He appears prominently in the music video as the rapper (he comes in at 3:03)—which cracks my shit up. I annoyed him to no end by taping a color still of him from the video onto my Census badge.Then there's Zanne. We served as fellow Crew Leaders during the first operation, GQ (Group Quarters). One Sunday we were working at a senior facility, shuffling through a mountain of forms and I sat on the floor, crossed my legs and started parceling stacks. Apparently, Suzanne liked the down-home vibe; she looked me in the eyes and
said, "I like you."From then on, we spent as much Census time together as possible; she'd pick me up in her SUV just so we could drive to the office together. We aligned for a number of facilities—in particular a woman's shelter that was mind-blowing in the amount of heartbreak we witnessed during that 10-hour day. Those experiences bring people closer together, you know? I adore Zanne's tough veneer. She's a broad... with a heart. And now, bless my heart, she's my friend.
Since, I've been to her home several times, met her man Ralph, cooked out on the deck and been to Costco together.
Among co-workers, Dennis and Trien have been mainstays since we began GQ together... and all three of us got renewed again and again, thanks to Otwane's fine taste in sniffing out hard-working talent, eh? I think if I were to look back on my Verizon Wireless records, I'd have 10,000 texts between the three of us over the past six months. Good folks... and the only pics I have of them: Otwane and Dennis at Brooklyn's Green-Wood Cemetery; and Trien at Grand Army Plaza's main Brooklyn Library branch.
Addendum! On Thursday, a heap of "retiring" Census workers met at Union Hall in BK for a farewell gathering. At last, I can legally post pictures! First names only, mind youse.
Census kin: Otwane, meese & Dennis. Sadly, Trien couldn't make the farewell. We four were together for the seven months I endured at the gig.
I was thrilled to see Deborah again, stylish as ever; she left the Census a couple months ago.
The big guns: Harry, Irv and Otwane, three of the office chiefs.
Denise, the head of our Local Census office, meese & Eunice.
A gaggle of Census workers from our 2226 LCO.
With Joan, a daily point of contact. Good lady.
Karina, born and bred in Brooklyn with the accent to prove it; and Duwake.
In February, the Census was a blessed means to an income. What a bonus: meeting people whose influence will be felt for a good long time.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Happy Birthday: Country Crossover Day!
The mighty Shania Twain turns 45(!) today... (here at a Country Radio Seminar with my pal Whitney Moxie Chrysanthemum).
...while fellow country crossover LeAnn Rimes is 27 (at a Billboard Radio Seminar when she was all of 16).
...while fellow country crossover LeAnn Rimes is 27 (at a Billboard Radio Seminar when she was all of 16).
"Exploring Mediums," Encore!
A sprinkling of more picolas from last Saturday's Southampton event at 4 North Main.
Tinatin onstage with Jeff Franzel. Love-a-ley!
Tinatin comes off stage: "Smooch!"
Tinatin & Jeff with Leonard and meese: "Bravo!"
Coby, Coby, Coby (Coby): Bravo!
Isn't that Bruce Springsteen, third from left?
Pic of a pic in the making.
Tinatin onstage with Jeff Franzel. Love-a-ley!
Tinatin comes off stage: "Smooch!"
Tinatin & Jeff with Leonard and meese: "Bravo!"
Coby, Coby, Coby (Coby): Bravo!
Isn't that Bruce Springsteen, third from left?
Pic of a pic in the making.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Have Faith: In Stupidity
Is it a pool product? Or is it meant to bring life back to doggie doo? In any case, I'm guessing there's good reason this was found at an overstock discounter.
No matter how sexy the model for these undies, boxer breifs might be a hard sell in the U.S.
I hope to god this was a staffer's idea of a good time!
(Thanks, Donna!)
No matter how sexy the model for these undies, boxer breifs might be a hard sell in the U.S.
I hope to god this was a staffer's idea of a good time!
(Thanks, Donna!)
Census Report: The Final Countdown
When I was hired as a temp employee for the U.S. Census Bureau last winter, I wrote in 
my first post about the gig, “After 10 months without anyone in journalism realizing they were surely suffering without my innate talent in their corner—and more urgently, with my unemployment benefits expiring in two weeks—this (is) no time for pride. Besides, the census 
experience sounds like it has potential to be quite an adventure. Among my life mantras: Anything with anecdotal potential is worth experiencing. It certainly sounds more fun than ringing up power cords at Radio Shack, yes?”
And how. It is stupefying to realize that was nearly seven months ago, as I transitioned
from climbing over snow banks in February/March to enjoying the blossoming spring weather in May to enduring a daily flop sweat throughout this summer’s tenacious 90 degrees-plus days...
Somehow, connected to the right people, combined with the fed’s persistent outlay of follow-up
operations, my tidy little turn as a Crew Leader was renewed time and again… as the Census became my financial savior of 2010. But now, at last... my number has come up.
As predicted, it was also a shitload of fun. Foremost, I got to know my Brooklyn intimately, connecting the dots between neighborhoods that I previously knew only in cursory fashion. After 14 years as a Manhattan snob, I am now a BK patriot. I treasure this city's rich history and diversity.
I also worked with a lot of cool, smart people (pics in a future post) within my varying Census duties. Now, as the door closes, I have to wonder with amusement how many names will stay with me, how long I’ll remember the office bathroom security code (4253), whether my federal ID will vanish out of short-term memory… how much of that routine was committed only to the here and now. I bet I'll never forget my daily "commute," walking from Brooklyn Heights up and down Fulton Street, taking in its seedy sites with near adulation.
I sure as hell had a bountiful run, full of acronyms: from GQ and NRFU to QA, VDC and finally, NRFU RES. 
And now, as the Local Census Office begins laying off the 800 or so remaining staffers and emptying out the physical space, it's a wrap. For real, this time.
Yesterday, after my final office duties were done,
I made a hasty getaway. I was afraid my emotions might bubble to the surface and I’d find myself getting misty. Temp it may have been, but the impact of this experience will remain with me for the long term. I learned a lot. I lived a lot. In the end, it counted. For a lot.
my first post about the gig, “After 10 months without anyone in journalism realizing they were surely suffering without my innate talent in their corner—and more urgently, with my unemployment benefits expiring in two weeks—this (is) no time for pride. Besides, the census 
experience sounds like it has potential to be quite an adventure. Among my life mantras: Anything with anecdotal potential is worth experiencing. It certainly sounds more fun than ringing up power cords at Radio Shack, yes?”And how. It is stupefying to realize that was nearly seven months ago, as I transitioned
from climbing over snow banks in February/March to enjoying the blossoming spring weather in May to enduring a daily flop sweat throughout this summer’s tenacious 90 degrees-plus days... Somehow, connected to the right people, combined with the fed’s persistent outlay of follow-up
operations, my tidy little turn as a Crew Leader was renewed time and again… as the Census became my financial savior of 2010. But now, at last... my number has come up.As predicted, it was also a shitload of fun. Foremost, I got to know my Brooklyn intimately, connecting the dots between neighborhoods that I previously knew only in cursory fashion. After 14 years as a Manhattan snob, I am now a BK patriot. I treasure this city's rich history and diversity.
I also worked with a lot of cool, smart people (pics in a future post) within my varying Census duties. Now, as the door closes, I have to wonder with amusement how many names will stay with me, how long I’ll remember the office bathroom security code (4253), whether my federal ID will vanish out of short-term memory… how much of that routine was committed only to the here and now. I bet I'll never forget my daily "commute," walking from Brooklyn Heights up and down Fulton Street, taking in its seedy sites with near adulation.
I sure as hell had a bountiful run, full of acronyms: from GQ and NRFU to QA, VDC and finally, NRFU RES. 
And now, as the Local Census Office begins laying off the 800 or so remaining staffers and emptying out the physical space, it's a wrap. For real, this time.Yesterday, after my final office duties were done,
I made a hasty getaway. I was afraid my emotions might bubble to the surface and I’d find myself getting misty. Temp it may have been, but the impact of this experience will remain with me for the long term. I learned a lot. I lived a lot. In the end, it counted. For a lot.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)