Same Old Story: Homophobic Hypocrisy

Here we go again... The loudest, most vicious public officials who decry equal rights for gays so often have something to hide: their own shameful private life of homosexuality, typically coercive if not outright predatory.

The latest homophobe to be proven a hypocrite hit the front page of The New York Times today: Bishop Eddie L. Long, a Georgia holy roller whose Missionary Baptist Church has made him a multi-millionaire and a favorite among equally small-minded Republican politicos.

Three, then four and today, five members of a youth group he operates—which charges $500 to enroll—have accused him of repeatedly coercing them into homosexual sex acts, including kissing, rubbing and sleeping together—calling it "part of their spiritual journey"—while using church money to bribe them with cash, cars and lavish trips.

Bishop Long, who promotes himself a social conservative, regularly shouts out from his pulpit anti-gay epithets, rallies against gay marriage and promotes seminars promising to “cure” homosexuals. Seems he needs to enroll in one of those himself, since the sick bastard's own self-loathing has prompted him to take advantage of innocent young men. For shame.

Happy Hour... LES' Black Market

Happy hour at a new venue, Black Market, Lower East Side's Avenue A around 6th Street in Manhattan. Little did I know all were informed of my upcoming birthday. I'll drink to that...

Sheena Easton: Beauty To Match The Voice

So, so beautiful. Sheena, 1987, one of my all-time favorites.

You Don't Say?

Guess I'll have to make my way to Rawhide, then...

'80s Dreams: Mitch Gaylord

Mitch Gaylord won four medals in the 1984 Olympic Games in Los Angeles,and parlayed his dreamy boy looks and hot bod into the fairly dreadful 1986 film "American Anthem," in which he played, uh, a gymnast who can't get along with his papa and wants some of that from Janet Jones. For his role, he was nominated for a 1987 Razzie as Worst New Actor.

No matter: I had his door poster hanging in my bedroom back in the day. He certainly was a gorgeous young man.

Sadly, except for a couple more B movies, that was the end of the Hollywood spotlight for Gaylord. Today, he hawks a series of weight loss DVDs called "Melt It Off."The movie's theme, "Two Hearts," was recorded by John Parr, who a year before had a No. 1 hit with "St. Elmo's Fire." This is my No. 16 song for 1986; sadly, it never appeared on the singles chart.

'SS' Bans Katy Perry's Boobs From Tube

What a world, what a world... An adorable song parody featuring Katy Perry singing "Hot 'N Cold" with Sesame Street's Elmo has been pulled from its broadcast schedule (who knew it was still on the air?) because some tightass parents complained about her cleavage. Imagine: A woman with breasts. For shame!! SS bowed to the malcontents because it says the show is aimed at preschoolers... as if they know that breasts are anything but food... Good god almighty. (See full size video on YouTube here.)

I can only imagine the fallout to come when gay couple Mitchell and Cameron on ABC's "Modern Family" are shown kissing in the Sept. 29 episode. Two men showing affection. It's the end of civilized society, for sure.

WEBBIE: The Future Of Magazine Publishing

New feature on The Smoking Nun, cool cats... Since I've got the time to explore the internet, I'll be sharing new websites of interest and value on a regular basis. We'll start with a look at the future of magazine "publishing": Imagine browsing through your favorite magazines delivered to your laptop or iPad as a high-quality, technically efficient PDF.

If print has to go the way of CDs and books, then this is a perfect example of the model of the future. The magazine is called FART... yeah, I know, I thought it was a joke, too. It's actually a German pub that delivers beautifully rendered "Fashion, Art, Beauty, Design & Music." Take a spin here.

Thanks, Patty!

Tonight: Network TV Hits Ultimate Low

I honestly never thought things could get worse than "Alf," but tonight, Justin Bieber makes his acting debut—not on "Sesame Street" or "Dancing with the Stars," but on a real show: "CSI." 9 p.m., CBS. I'm tempted to Tivo it just to see if his castrada voice makes all of the glass in my apartment spontaneously shatter... I'm assuming the storyline is that he's being arrested for that god-awful shag haircut. It is, after all, a crime against nature.

Unemployment Claims Rise: Count Me In

New unemployment claims rose by 12,000 last week to a staggering total of 465,000—and hello, my post-Census Bureau claim was among them.

When Billboard fired a number of us veteran writers/editors in March 2009, I filed for unemployment benes—which, with an extension, endured for a year. My claim ran out just as I snagged the Census gig in February 2010, which, thankfully, provided me enough income to file this new claim Aug. 30. I found out today that my bid for benefits for the next 26 weeks has been approved. I can eat and pay for health insurance, after all.

Meanwhile, AP reports that the rise in unemployment claims "suggests that jobs remain scarce and companies are still cutting workers. Initial claims have been stuck above 450,000 for most of this year."

Dan Greenhaus, chief economic strategist at Miller Tabak, offers, "What's becoming increasing clear is that this isn't a normal recovery. There's little we can do to create jobs until demand returns, and demand isn't returning."

Well, duh: Economists swear the recession has ended, but the statistics certainly suggest otherwise: "Businesses added a net total of only 67,000 jobs in August. The economy needs to generate a net total of almost 300,000 jobs a month to reduce the unemployment rate to 8% over the next two years, according to an estimate by the Labor Department."

I need a drink...

Enquirer Exposes What Gays Already Know

Mercy, what news that's not news is next? Tom Cruise, George Clooney and Mayor Michael Bloomberg? How about the Pope?Courtesy Queerty. More here, here and here.

NYC: What A Wonder

Picolas taken Wednesday night from the top of Ink48 Hotel's 16th-floor roof deck. Have you ever seen anything more beautiful than this? 7 p.m., dusk...

Sir Ivan Album Release @ NYC Ink48 Hotel

You can't get much farther west than 11th Avenue, the location of Ink48 Hotel at 48th Street, right along the Hudson River. Tonight, Teddy visiting from D.C. and meese attended the release party for Sir Ivan's new album "I Am Peaceman." Glorious, glam, full-on Manhattan-style event.

Pregnant Nun Ad Banned In Britain (At Least She's Not Smoking, For God's Sake)

A magazine ad for Antonio Federici ice cream that shows a pregnant nun was banned in Britain days before the Pope's U.K. visit last week. Despite creative text that proclaims, "Immaculately Conceived: Ice cream is our religion," politically correct asswipes complained to the U.K. Advertising Standards Authority that the image is potentially offensive to fragile Catholics.Man, nobody can take a fucking joke anymore. I think the image is pretty genius.

Farewell Summer 2010...

Wednesday's Autumnal Equinox marks the official end of summer, as fall officially begins at 11:09 tonight. Sigh... Let's celebrate a final magnanimous tribute to the boyz of summer. (Click on images for rousing larger views.)