Friday, December 9, 2011

Talking Dummy Ryan Seacrest Considered For Gig As 'Today' Anchor

Kardashians creator, American Idol cardboard cut-out host, E! entertainment reporter, pop radio morning man and closet queer Ryan Seabreast is obviously blowing someone with major connections at NBC. The moron is being considered to replace veteran news journalist Matt Lauer as anchor of NBC's Today Show!

Then again, he and Ann Curry will make a perfect team: They can initiate a dual rallying call of "Duh!" every morning. Genius!

In other news, God has decided to shower the Earth with 5 million meteors to prevent such a sad, sad state of affairs from occurring.

Los Angeles Times columnist Joe Flint, wrote, "Journalism purists will no doubt feel a pain in their stomach. After all, while morning shows are a lot of fluff these days, the anchor still has to have the gravitas to turn at a moment's notice and say, 'America is under attack.' So far the only thing Seacrest can say with conviction is 'Seacrest out.'"

Atlantic Wire's Richard Lawson added that watching Seabreast cover a breaking news story on the order of 9/11 "would be like watching a monkey on rollerskates deliver a eulogy."