CBS-TV's 'Two and a Half Men': Kutcher Vs. Sheen

By Imogen Reed for The Smoking Nun
With the current season of CBS-TV’s “Two and a Half Men” drawing to a close and reports of Ashton Kutcher signing up for for next year, The Smoking Nun decided to explore just how Kutcher has stacked up against predecessor Charlie Sheen.

The show’s writers never sought to have Kutcher emulate Sheen’s character, but do viewers prefer the innocent charm of Kutcher’s billionaire geek Walden Schmidt or are they still mourning the loss of raucous, immoral yet ultimately loveable hedonist Charlie Harper, a la Sheen?

Season Nine first launched September 19, 2011 and opened with the funeral of Charlie Harper, who dubiously "fell" in front of a train in Paris. Despite leaving his infamous Malibu beach house to brother Alan (Jon Cryer), it transpires that Charlie had taken multiple mortgages out on the house and Alan is no longer able to afford it.

Enter Walden Schmidt: a suicidal, broken-hearted billionaire who offers to buy the house after trying to drown himself in the ocean and then forming a friendship with Alan. Thus, a new trio is born and Walden, Alan and Alan’s son Jake (Angus T. Jones) begin living together as an even more dysfunctional surrogate family unit.

Reviews about the new series’ scenario of “Two and a Half Men” weren’t great. CBS was accused of trying to fill an iconic actor’s shoes with such tactics as having Kutcher spend most of the first episode walking around naked. Apparently even close-ups of Kutcher’s smokin’ hot body weren’t enough to prevent criticism against the writers for resorting to cheap tricks in order to distract the audience from the fact that Kutcher lacked the experience, popularity and comic timing that Sheen readily possessed.

With ratings of the first episode of Season Nine at a staggering 28.7 million viewers, it appeared that audiences were eager to see how Kutcher fared, but ultimately the general consensus was that he just isn’t that funny. Even Sheen launched a verbal attack on Kutcher earlier this year, saying, “I’m tired of lying. I’m tired of pretending Ashton doesn’t suck.” For sure, nobody was expecting him to wish Kutcher luck in his new venture or to send a him a gift parcel, but this outburst seemed harsh, even by Sheen's standards.

However, as the series progressed, it seemed Kutcher grew into his role and viewers began accepting Walden Schmidt in his own right, instead of judging him against Charlie Harper. The fact is that the two characters are massively diverse, with different personalities, views and ethics. Whereas Charlie was an arrogant and an illicit womanizer, Walden is a more sensitive soul who visibly lacks experience with women yet genuinely wants to settle down and find true love.

You certainly wouldn’t catch Charlie Harper feeling dejected if a girlfriend didn’t return an "I love you," as is the case with Walden and Zoey in Episode 17 of this season. Similarly, all of Charlie’s wealth and fortune seemed to unjustly fall into his lap, whereas Walden is a self-made billionaire who has worked hard to earn his keep. Perhaps these subtle hints at the differences in morality between the two also helped the audience warm to Walden. Either way, viewers have to accept that the dynamic of the show has changed (who would have ever guessed that Alan would be the one dishing out advice on women?!) and those who were so eager to deprecate Kutcher have to remember why he’s there in the first place: because Charlie Sheen messed up badly.

As the highest-earning U.S. television actor, you would assume Sheen would have valued his keep more. But his controversial personal life, substance abuse and public insults against the shows co-creator, Chuck Lorre, left producers with little choice but to fire him. Despite originally alienating and annoying fans with his crazy behavior, he seemed to win back popularity with a few gracious public appearances, while even his infamous “winning” interview became a slogan.

But it was too late to win back favor with the “Two and a Half Men” producers, meaning someone would have to replace him or the show would be cut altogether.

It was not an easy role to fill, but Kutcher has done it his own way—and despite ratings taking a dip since the first episode of Season Nine, “Two and a Half Men” has come out on the other side and remains one of the most-watched sitcoms on TV. With Kutcher raking in around $700,000 per episode, it seems he’s more than delight to usher Walden Schmidt into a sophomore season. *

Happy Passover & Easter!

Stuart Reardon: Bar None, The Most Beautiful Man Of 2012

Stupefied is the best reaction I can muster when I first saw pics of professional rugby athlete (and model) Stuart Reardon. The "straight mate" has just taken the title of The Smoking Nun's Sexiest Man Alive for the first three months of 2012. Mercy! At 6'1, 30-year-old Stu hails from Bradford, Yorkshire, England, and currently plays rugby for AS Carcassonne in the French Elite One Championship (South of France). Reardon has been modeling professionally for a few years, and has gained fame on the cover of the U.K. version of DNA (above)—and the Aussie DNA. In our book, he could certainly be cast as Hercules, right? Book that baby! *

The Week In Music: Biebs & Madonna Rule Chart Roost

While American indie band fun. (featuring Janelle Monae) logs a fifth consecutive week at the top of the singles chart with “We Are Young,” it’s Justin Bieber who is likely having the most fun at the beginning of 2012’s second quarter. His new single “Boyfriend” sold 521,000 thousand copies in its first week to launch all the way up at No. 2 on the Billboard Hot 100.

"We Are Young" maintains the lead—for now—at radio, at No. 2 on Hot 100 Airplay, while “Boyfriend” hops onto that list at No. 24. It’s the Biebs’ highest-charting hit ever, surpassing his No. 5 “Baby,” featuring Ludacris, in 2010. The song also amps the texture for the 18 year old, with a more sensual R&B groove than his tweeny-sounding “Baby.”

This guy is beating the odds, for sure, in terms of enduring fame for a teen act: It’s his third top 10 and first without a featured artist, it tops the Digital Sales and Social 50 charts, while Bieber has sold 8 million albums, according to Nielsen SoundScan—and has 19 million Twitter followers. In addition, Justin debuts at No. 1 on the Canadian singles chart, his first time at the summit in his native nation.

Reminiscent of the late-1990s when kid-friendly groups ‘N Sync and Backstreet Boys ruled the chart roost, Brit boy band One Direction, whose debut album “Up All Night” started at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 (and is No. 6 this week), also ranks in this week’s top 10 singles, as "What Makes You Beautiful" hops from No. 11 to No. 9. The song reached No. 1 in the U.K. last September. Meanwhile, teen act The Wanted is at No. 3 with “Glad You Came.”

On the long-play side, as expected, Madonna debuts at No. 1 with “MDNA”—her eighth No. 1 album and 20th top 10. It also tops the U.K. album chart. Lionel Richie’s country duets “Tuskegee,” enters at No. 2, selling 199,000 copies, to Madge’s 359,000. It’s Richie’s highest-charting album since October 1986 with “Dancing On the Ceiling.” Moreover, he enters Top Country Albums at #1—only the fourth black artist to top that chart, alongside Charley Pride, Ray Charles and Darius Rucker.

It’s important to note that Madonna's entry was undoubtedly boosted by a promotion in which U.S. fans that bought a concert ticket for her world tour were given a code that could be redeemed for either a physical or digital copy of “MDNA.” Billboard estimates that 185,000 of her total sales were tied to the ticket promotion.

Rounding out the top 5 albums: Adele, in its 58th week in the top 10, drops from No. 2 to No. 3 with “21”; “Shinedown, Amaryllis” from Shinedown debuts at No. 4; and last week’s No. 1 “The Hunger Games” soundtrack dips to No. 5.

Next week, the talent pool shallows out dramatically, as gimmick-loaded Nicki Minaj’s sophomore “Pink Friday” is expected to debut at No. 1. *

Meet 'Good Christian Bitches' New Cast Member Eric Winter

Mercy, ABC's Good Christian Bitches got even better Sunday night with the addition of hottie Eric Winter to the cast, who plays Kristin Chenoweth’s little bro, and a potential love interest for lead Leslie Bibb. Winter, 35, hails from La Mirada, Cali, and began as a fashion model for Tommy Hilfiger.

He appeared for 4 years on soap Days of Our Lives and in The Ugly Truth with Katherine Heigl. Winter is married with one daughter named Sebella Rose Winter. *

Celine Dion Covers '7 Jours,' New Pic Book 'Beyond The Image'

It's been a fine month for Celine Dion in terms of publicity, despite being forced to cancel two weeks of her Las Vegas show when she was illin'. French entertainment mag 7 Jours recently featured her on the cover (again), in addition to French-language Iundi and France Dimanche.In addition, the English version of photographer Laurent Cayla’s 343-page photo-book Céline: Beyond The Image is set to be released in North America next month. It contains hundreds of exclusive and previously unpublished photos of Celine and her family, accompanied by the photographer’s personal story. The book is teased in this week's Hello! Canada. *

William Levy Covers April 2012 'Para Todos'

While William Levy has covered numerous issues of People En Espanol (as the mag's Sexiest Man Alive), we're still waiting for an English-language mag to get with the program... In the meantime, Spanish-language Para Todos features our main man posing in Gucci on its April 2012 cover, naming him Entertainer Of The Year, with an accompanying photo shoot at the Luxe Rodeo Drive.

Photos from the issue are on the right, as well as screenshots from E!'s coverage of the shoot below.

In the issue, Will shares, "I would love to make movies in Hollywood. That’s what I’m focusing on, American cinema. I continue to grow every day. I like how Denzel Washington works. I love his work. I love what he does and how he does it.” *

New Sheena Easton Collection Released In The U.K.!

A new double-CD Greatest Hits set from Sheena Easton is being released April 16 in the U.K. by Sheena Easton. The Collection is available on amazon.com.uk here. The track listing, which offers no particular surprises, is below the jump.

It includes such memorable hits as "Morning Train," "Telefone," "We've Got Tonight," "Strut," "Sugar Walls" and "For Your Eyes Only," as well as fave non-hit tracks "Just Another Broken Heart," "Ice Out in the Rain," "Paradox" and "Wind Beneath My Wings." Obviously the 31 tracks are all from her EMI days, not including MCA hits like "The Lover In Me."

Still, at least it offers a cover image that, while not new, has never fronted a CD before. *

Gummi Lighthouses... Whoops... Major FAIL!

Bless the hearts of candy maker Mill Farm for attempting to reinvent Gummi Bears in the shape of, uh, lighthouses. For sure, they look like fire hydrants, right? Right? Oh, wait...  Hmm, why am I suddenly having naughty thoughts? (Thanks Mae Moose!) *

'Titanic In 3D' | Kate Winslet Is A Delicate, Fragile Flower

Remember Kate Winslet before she starred with Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic? No, of course you don't... So you would think the now-Oscar-winning actress would show a little more respect to the role that made her famous.

With the re-release of James Cameron's blockbuster Titanic in 3D today, she's gotten plenty of press complaining about everything associated with her star-making turn: She's all ill at ease and shit with her semi-nude scenes (waaaah!), she is soooo weary of Titanic jokes, like whenever she boards a boat (hahaha!) and most egregiously, the had the audacity to suggest that Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" makes her wanna throw up.

You knew that's where I was heading, didn't you?

"No, I shouldn't say that," Winslet added in an interview with MTV... "No, actually, I do feel like throwing up. I wish I could say, 'Oh listen, everybody! It's the Celine Dion song!' But I don't. I just have to sit there, you know, kind of straight-faced with a massive internal eye roll."

Okay, I'll admit it's probably a little wearisome to walk into a bar or restaurant with a pianist and have them start playing the song—and encourage her to start singing. Well, no wonder. No one could sing that song as well as Celine. Of course!

And Winslet does admit that the movie now has an opportunity to reach a new generation; after all, it's been 15 years (damn!), including her children who will see it for the first time.

"What's negative about it? Really, nothing at all," she said of the 3-D treatment. "It's very different and much more present. It's bigger—if you can believe that—and you really do feel like you're in it."

Okay, Kate. You're kind of forgiven. Though I'm still steaming about those six hours of my life I'll never get back wasted watching HBO's dreadful Mildred Pierce. That makes me want to throw up. So there, girl. *

Neil Patrick Harris To Host Tony Awards Again!

Neil Patrick Harris will host the 2012 Tony Awards for the third time, it was announced Tuesday. The awards show honoring Broadway's best will air on CBS June 10 from the Beacon Theatre in New York. The popular actor and out gay hosted the show in 2011 and 2009.

The Tony's continue to ail, like so many award telecasts. The 2011 Tony's drew 6.9 million viewers, down from 7 million in 2010; which was down from 7.4 million viewers in 2009. By comparison, this year's Academy Awards show on ABC drew 39.3 million viewers, up slightly from 2011. Sunday's Academy of Country Music Awards on CBS attracted 13 million viewers.

One thing's for sure: You couldn't find a more likeable guy, who can sing, dance and tell a joke or two... all the while being wholly accepted by the American mainstream as a respected gay guy. That is indeed progress. *

The Top 10 Most Reputable Companies In America

Reputation Institute conducted an online study among 10,198 consumers to ask their perceptions of the largest 150 companies in the U.S., asking for impressions of trust, esteem, admiration and good feeling. Forbes now reports America’s Most And Least Reputable Big Companies, from top to bottom.

Topping the list is General Mills... Reputation says that the Minneapolis-based company "thrives on great citizenship, leadership, governance and products." Oh, who cares about all of that gook. Give me my Lucky Charms, Cocoa Puffs and Trix cereals! Sugar, sugar, sugar in the morning, wheeee!

No. 2 is Kraft, because, according to the Institute, "the company has a YouTube channel, a recipe website, a social-media community and a magazine dedicated to sending tailored messages about the company—along with significant research into what the consumer wants to know." Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know as well as I that folks love their Velveeta and Kraft Mac & Cheese. Hey, once again I get it!

At No. 3 is Johnson & Johnson. Can't keep those ears clean enough, right? In addition to Q-Tips, they make No More Tears shampoo (god, there's nothing worse than a screaming baby, right?) , Band-Aids, Tylenol, Listerine and Acuvue contacts. Ah, I see!

No. 4 is Kellogg's. Hmm, I dunno about that one. Frosted Flakes really make me gassy... But I'll forgive 'em, since they also make Cocoa Krispies, Apple Jacks and Pop Tarts. Mmm, more sugar! No. 5 is Amazon, since they put every record store and bookstore in the nation out of business. Thanks again for that, guys.

And 6-10: UPS (zzzzzz), Coca-Cola, Apple (hurrah!), PepsiCo (Lays, Tropicana, 7Up, Quaker Oats), and at 10... Procter & Gamble, which pretty much manufactures everything else in the world that is in your home. *