From AARP To The Grave! Seriously?

Okay, it was bad enough when AARP launched a full-on assault with one invitation after another to join as soon as the organization sniffed that I was turning 50 (I relented). But now... a sweet, cordial invitation to reserve my fucking grave at Pinelawn Memorial Park in Farmingdale, N.Y., wherever the hell that is? Seriously? Hey, thanks, but I'd prefer to hang on a few more years before my body is turned to dust in the crematorium. Hey, thanks so much for thinking of me. *