Saturday, May 22, 2010

The $750 Million Supermarket Cashier

Elin Nordegren was born in Stockholm, Sweden, where she worked as a supermarket cashier, before her lofty ambitions led to a job at clothier Champagne—as a check-out girl. Elin was pretty, too, and posed in a bikini for top-tier magazines like Cafe Sport.

After honing her talents by also working as a nanny, Nordegren discovered her innate skills: as a starfucker, when she married Tiger Woods in 2004.

Six years later, amid her shock and surprise that an athlete would cheat, the poor dear is (at least smart enough to be) divorcing her asswipe husband. Her price tag: $750 million!! In the settlement, she's refusing Tiger's demands for a confidentiality clause that would prevent her from writing a book or hawking his name for her personal gain. Seems she's as big a whore as her hubby!

Whee, isn't it fabulous to be Elin? Sounds like she's learned a lot—from Heather Mills and John Edwards' wife Elizabeth. Gold-digging certainly matches her bleached blonde hair.