Monday, May 17, 2010

Farewell Cruel World!

This is likely my last post on The Smoking Nun. It appears I've come into a large sum of money and I shall be relocating to a small coastal town to live out my days drinking mai tais with little umbrellas, nibbling on caviar and wearing plum-colored caftans. I can't believe they found me! Now all I have to do is figure out what the hell a "codicil" is...

The purpose of this message is to notify you again that you were listed as a beneficiary to a total sum of Twelve Million British Pounds in the codicil and last testament of the deceased [name now withheld since this is our second attempt to reach you].

All legal papers to claim funds will be processed in your name on your acceptance. We request that you kindly forward your letter of acceptance, your current telephone and fax numbers and a forwarding address to enable us to file all necessary documents at the probate registry. I shall feed you with full details on the procedure upon receipt of your reply towards this notice.

Yours faithfully,
Greg Halford