Thursday, May 13, 2010

EXCLUSIVE: Darren Hayes On Kagan Debate

Many thanks to singer/songwriter Darren Hayes for his thoughtful response to Wednesday's post framed as a "conversation" with my friend Cheryl, that began on Facebook about the hope that gays will one day share an equal playing field—first fueled by the debate surrounding Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan's sexuality.

He writes
: I met my future husband on an extended working trip to the U.K. At that time I held a U.S green card, something I fought hard for and cherished. But I cherished Richard more—and consequently I surrendered my U.S status to be with him in England. It was legally impossible to be together in the U.S.

Six years later we are married (a Civil Partnership in the United Kingdom), where I was afforded, amongst other things, British Citizenship and all of the rights that apparently “normal” heterosexual couples inherit when they marry someone from another country. We enjoy exactly the same civil and social respect that heterosexual couples enjoy in the culture that I live in. In short: I feel legitimate and respected.

I could never have considered bringing Richard to the U.S as my partner. It wasn't a possibility. Even with my Civil Partnership he doesn't exist or hold any title in my life according to every other country in the world.

As a gay person sometimes you feel like Rosa Parks being told you should be grateful to just have a damned seat. Well I'm not grateful. I'm furious. And one day we will look back on this period and be ashamed for how we treated other human beings.

Darren Hayes