Diary Of A Layoff/Post Eight: Finis

The fat lady sings. Today, after 14 years, 5 months and 23 days—5,288 days—I marked my finale at Billboard magazine. I went into the office at 10 a.m., as usual, and started editing the week's copy, as usual. I filed those babies until nearly 5:30 p.m. It was all so normal... and yet... bordered on what is now a brand new normal. Honestly, after the last month of counting down to this day, I'm ready. Let's just be done with it, for god's sake.

One fun surprise: Billboard.com editor J told me late in the morning that "High School Musical" Emmy-winning actress and hitmaker Ashley Tisdale was coming to the office to play music from her upcoming second CD and she wanted someone to conduct a video interview for bb.com. Well, guess who is best-suited to talk with a pop star? My working knowledge of Tisdale was limited, so I poured through Wikipedia and her Web site, got chart stats and memorized a career in 20 minutes.

Her new music—single "I'm Alright, I'm OK" hits radio April and a second album in June—is wonderfully spirited pop-rock, with stunning layers of melodic vocals. Loved it. And she could not have been more charming (and beautiful—and now brunette). We conducted our video back-and-forth for a good 15 minutes and I had a damn romp with the 23 year old... What a cool little final act for me.

Finally, at 5:30 p.m., I packed... and hesitated... My e-mail was empty, my Web bookmarks erased, my cubicle drained of all signs of my presence in that office space over the past nine years (okay, I did leave a purple Flair on my computer for sport), but just didn't... couldn't quite... leave. Some hugs, and then editor P came by to walk me out. Some shout-outs of "Bye, Chuck," and P repeated some lovely sentiments about our four years working together. Sure enough, I choked and teared up. I suppose I knew that was coming.

I hit the street and felt the same numbness as the day I was laid off, as if I were walking in someone else's body. So I just walked. Two tears fell. I hoofed it five blocks to Union Square, wove around the vendors there and resigned myself (hee, amusing term, eh?) to the fact that life has changed in a big way, and it's time to swallow it and just go home.

9 p.m. now and I feel a-OK. I'm making dinner and cooking a chocolate pie for my man. So life goes on. I assume the next week is going to bring more curiosity in this ever-evolving process, but the drama is over. Now it's time to focus forward.

P.S. Today is my mammer's 83rd birthday and she is in fine health. We had a nice midday chat. There is plenty to celebrate.