
The theory about the end of the world, I have discovered, comes down to two numerological proofs. First is Genesis 7:4, when God said to Noah, "Seven days from now I will send rain for 40 days and 40 nights, and I will wipe from the face of the earth every living creature I have made." When God referred to seven days, he meant seven days and 7,000 years, because "one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day."

The second evidence looks at the number of days between the Crucifixion and May 21, 2011: There are 722,500 days between these dates, and 722,500 is composed of the numbers 5x10x17x5x10x17. Five signifies redemption, 10 is completion and 17 is heaven. The numbers represent the day of redemption (5) and the end of the Christian era (10) and the ascent to heaven (17), doubled for added significance.

I guess it could be worse. New Yorker Robert Fitzpatrick spent his life savings, $140,000, on 1,000 subway and bus placards, insisting, "Global Earthquake: The Greatest Ever! Judgment Day May 21, 2011." Just think, if we actually make it unscathed through Saturday, he'll still be an idiot...
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