Herman Cain Embarks On Fall 'Lies & Fairy Tales' Tour

Remember Herman Cain, the bigoted, homophobic beast of burden that ran for President of the United States last year, along with Lil' Hitler Rick Santorum, madman Rick Perry and grandpappy Newt Gingrich? Oops, I almost forgot crazy-as-a-loon Michele Bachmann & gay hubby Marcus.

All five of these candidates were frightening prospects to ever commandeer public office. Thank god the Republican choice to run in the Prez race this November is Mitt Romney, who's too much of a pussy boy to do much damage.

When Cain retreated from the campaign in December, after it was revealed the serial liar had cheated on his wife for 13 years, he issued the scary proclamation: "Before you get discouraged, I am not going away. I will continue to be a voice for the people."

Now it appears he's carrying through on his threat. Cain has announced plans to travel across the country this fall for "The Truth Tour," an "aggressive 30-day, 30-city schedule of events that aims to provide Americans with facts, info & resources to help them in their decision making process before hitting the polls in November."

Sponsored by Job Creators Solutions, an organization formed by Cain and Home Depot co-founder Bernie Marcus, The Truth Tour begins September 5, 2012 in the wild & worldly state of Iowa.

Cain yammers, "It’s important for Americans to have the facts when making decisions that will impact our communities, businesses and our nation..."

I've absolutely no fucking idea what that means. Is he going to lend his support to Romney? Hand out free Godfather's Pizza coupons? Testify that Obama really isn't black? I can only hope that Cain starts posturing with caustic anti-Romney rhetoric, and that the media is all over that shit. One thing is sure: Cain is not only not able, but he is certainly up to no good. *